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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Giants didn't look out for No. 1

We're always paying attention around here even if the Giants and Eagles weren't last Sunday. Man, you'd think a pair of ol' stalwarts from a rough-and-tumble neighborhood like the NFC East would know better.

First, the Giants went down to New Orleans to restore order around the NFL, and got hit in the mouth before they were able to make a single statement. Then, a few hours later, the Eagles brought their uniforms to Oakland and not their game, and were cleaned and pressed by a gang of light-weights who used to refer to themselves as the vaunted Raider Nation.

So be warned, with that kind of stuff going down in the NFL this year, it's best you keep your head on swivel, pally.
And drink up, it's gonna be a long season.

Prost!

THE STRONG STUFF

1 (2) New Orleans (99 proof, 5-0) Biggest mismatch of Sunday's slap-down of the Giants was on the sidelines. Giants never adjusted to what the Saints coaches were serving: Max-protect and find out who this dude named C.C. Brown is not covering.
2 (3) Indianapolis (95 proof, 5-0) Colts will get a second straight week of rest when they visit the Rams Sunday.
3 (4) Minnesota (94 proof, 6-0) Vikings better learn to play 60 minutes by this Sunday at Pittsburgh or clock will strike 12 on their winning streak.

WORTH A SHOT

4 (8) Denver (89 proof, 6-0) Do we believe? No. Are we paying attention? You bet.
5 (6) Atlanta (87 proof, 4-1) Had the magnifying glass on 'em Sunday night, and spotted very few weaknesses.
6 (1) N.Y. Giants (86 proof, 5-1) That's what happens when you get all full of yourself beating up on midgets. Next time bring some attitude, and a secondary. For now, just get on out of here.
7 (7) Pittsburgh (85 proof, 4-2) Need to clean up this untidy brand of football they have been playing with unbeaten Vikes looking to make a mess of their place Sunday.
8 (9) New England (84 proof, 4-2) After thumping Titans, 59-0, Patriots are ready for Battle of 1812 redo when they visit UK this weekend.
9 (11) Baltimore (81 proof, 3-3) Yes they lost, and still moved up two spots. You want to tell me why they should have dropped, pal?
10 (5) Philadelphia (79 proof, 3-2) Seriously, what was THAT?! Loss at Oakland was the worst of the year by anybody. Can top it, though, if they throw in another clunker at D.C. Monday night .
11 (17) Arizona (78 proof, 3-2) All of a sudden the Cardinals are looking very serious to us. Giants better watch their backs Sunday night.
12 (12) Chicago (75 proof, 3-2) Played Atlanta tough, but you always got the feeling it was going to end badly for them.
13 (13) San Francisco (74 proof, 3-2) Next two games on the road against Houston and Indianapolis will tell us what this team is really made of.

WATERED DOWN

14 (20) Houston (72 proof, 3-3) Matt Schaub threw for 392 yds., and four TDs against a Bengals' defense that shut down Baltimore on the road the week before. We told you, there is some bad stuff going on this year.
15 (10) Cincinnati (71 proof, 4-2) And because there's bad stuff all about, we'll predict for no good reason at all that the Bengals will shut down Cutler and the Bears Sunday.
16 (16) Miami (70 proof, 2-3) With Saints back at home for a divisional showdown with Atlanta next Monday, maybe the Saints are marching into a trap this weekend?
17 (18) Green Bay (68 proof, 3-2) Packers did nothing in their 26-0 win over the Lions and their third-string QB to hurt or help their cause around here.
18 (19) Dallas (65 proof, 3-2) Used bye week to read epic tale about the little engine that could. "I think we can. I think we can. I think we can..." Jerry's kids shouted. No, you can't.

CHEAP STUFF

19 (15) San Diego (61 proof, 2-3) What an annoying team.
20 (14) N.Y. Jets (59 proof, 3-3) Well, the bloom is officially off Buddy boys' pretty quarterback. Don't get too close, he stinks.
21 (22) Jacksonville (55 proof, 3-3) Careful, Jacksonville, you are about to get run from this place for good with another performance like the one against the Rams Sunday.

ROT GUT

22 (23) Carolina (49 proof, 2-3) How long can they play 'hide the quarterback' before he, and they, are found out?
23 (28) Buffalo (45 proof, 2-4) Poor, poor Buffalo fans. Jauron always seems to do just enough to give you a sliver of hope. Hopefully, you are smart enough to know by now, you don't have any.
24 (21) Seattle (43 proof, 2-4) Bye comes at a perfect time to come up with another excuse for futility. I mean, wasn't everything supposed to be different when Hasselbeck was at the helm?
25 (31) Kansas City (39 proof, 1-5) Were the latest recipients of Washington's program to lift up the disenfranchised of the league.
26 (30) Oakland (37 proof, 2-4) Nobody is more surprised by what happened Sunday against the Eagles than the Raiders.
27 (26) Cleveland (30 proof, 1-5) QB Anderson has put his house on the market, too.
28 (29) Tampa Bay (28 proof, 0-6) Have already been banned in London.
29 (24) Detroit (27 proof, 1-5) If the Lions have a bye week will anybody even know they are missing?
30 (27) Tennessee (22 proof, 0-6) Seriously, this has gone way past ridiculous. A good-bye for the terrible Titans this weekend.
31 (25) Washington (19 proof, 2-4) We admit it...This whole rotten mess is fascinating to us in the Grill Room.
32 (32) St. Louis (15 proof, 0-6) After they lose to Colts this Sunday, will have their best (only?) shot at a win this year when they travel to Detroit the following week.

(*) -- denotes last week's ranking.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Fixing the LPGA in Plain English

We interrupt the loud buzz accompanying the NFL, BCS, MLB, NBA, NHL and PGA to bring you the following message on behalf of the, gulp, LPGA:
H-E-L-P!

Quit snickering.

The Ladies Professional Golf Association is at a dangerous crossroads.
Sadly, this wouldn't be the first time this tour with no sense of itself, sat idling off the sports radar screen while trying to decide how it can become more than just some blip.

You do have to wonder, though, how many times they can arrive at this same, old, tired destination before the dented business model that has been driving their product, just up and quits for good.

Make no mistake about it, these are desperate times for the ladies, and we're not talking about housewives here. And if times like these call for desperate measures, we're ready to suggest some help. But before answering desperation's call, consider a few of the major issues the tour is facing right now:

It seems like every minute, the LPGA is losing money and sponsors at a time we are suffering through some of the toughest economic times in the past 100 years. Encouraging investment in a product that has traditionally offered minimal returns will be no easy sell.
Currently, the tour is rudderless, 'operating' without a commissioner. Sadly, some of the biggest noise the LPGA made this year was when a group of its better-known unknown players organized a coup that led to the resignation of then-commissioner Carolyn Bivens. Worse, all this was done on the eve of the tour's marquee event, the U.S. Open. That would be the definition of a public-relations nightmare
The tour is an afterthought on network TV. Yes, it does a have a 10-year contract with the Golf Channel, which was probably some of the best work Bivens did, but this will do little to establish a more sweeping brand.
The tour seems to be constantly at odds with itself about how far it should go in playing the sex-appeal card. Like it or not, some of its more recognized players have the legs to match their good-lookin' games. And like it or not, many people are tuning in to watch just because of that. Yet the LPGA players as a group can't seem to make up their minds about whether this is a good thing. Hint: It's a good thing.
Then there is the Korean issue, and we're not talking nukes. For better or worse, the South Korean players have made a tremendous impact on the game. But for worse, they have driven away fans and viewers in droves. Fans complain mostly that the South Korean's nondescript manner on and off the course is, for lack of a better word, boring. This would be a case where winning isn't everything, and these talented Korean players certainly do more than their fair share of that.

So what to do?
Get the biggest, roundest table you can find. Gather 'round that big table the most diverse group of top business and marketing experts in the world you can find. Throw in some LPGA notables, past and present, invite Tim Finchem the successful PGA commissioner, and finally, send invites to representatives from companies that sell products across every demographic you can think of -- from perfume to beer; from nachos to brie; from skirts to ties.

Then throw every single topic you can think of on top of that big, round table -- including, and maybe even mostly, the sensitive Korean issue -- and start sorting through all of them with one goal: Identifying what you are going to sell.

For the past 25 years or so, better known as the post-Nancy Lopez years (See? You remember her don't you?!), it seems like the LPGA has been trying to sell this...then that... then the other thing... and they were getting very few buyers for any of it.

Most perplexing, when they stumbled on something that would sell, they closed the shop.
Maybe the best example of this is when Annika Sorenstam and then Michelle Wie were occasionally teeing it up with the men. Some saw this as a good idea, some saw it as a bad one. No matter how you saw it, though, there was no denying it was good for business, and helped grow the LPGA brand. But the tour discouraged this.

Why in the world would the LPGA be reticent to see any of its members soaking up some of the PGA Tour's brilliant spotlight?

Be bold.
If there are attractive women out there who are able to hit a drive 275 yards dead down the middle, embrace it, don't begrudge it. Sex sells, and it has been selling in every single professional men's sport for decades.

Lopez is one of the four or five greatest women's players of all time. But when you think about her it's more than all that winning she did that you remember her for. No, you remember that she did all that winning while flashing her trademark million-watt smile. And that's a bad thing?

Isn't Arnold Palmer remembered for the very same thing? When Arnie burst on the scene, hitched up those trousers and stalked the course, it wasn't just golf he was selling -- or what the ladies were buying...

Identify your stars and sell 'em. Well after Palmer had stopped all his winning, he was still the best thing the tour had to offer. Arnie wasn't golf's greatest winner, but to this day, he is still known as The King.

Which leads us to the delicate South Korea issue.

Quit treating it delicately. It is a real issue, and it isn't going away.
One of Bivens' greatest undoings was her ill-fated attempt to suspend foreign-born players (i.e. the South Koreans) who could not converse in English. Even is she was a bit hasty (OK a lot hasty) about breaking out the stick ahead of the carrot, she was on to something.

Bivens' contention was that if a player could not speak any English, they were less attractive to those all-important pro-ams that boost stature and raise money for the tour. And if players were unable to promote what sponsors were selling, they were going to bolt to sports with players that could.

Of course, it also doesn't help that these players do rotten interviews. If the public can't get to know the players, identify with them, and get some idea of what makes them tick, they might as well be putting visors on swing machines and wheeling 'em around the course.

At least 75 percent of golf is played between the ears, so if you can't tell us what you were thinking about before stiffing that 5-iron from a 175 yards into a right-to-left wind on No. 18, you've been of no help at all.

Address this issue and address it honestly already.

Finally, go down the road less traveled this time when hiring a commissioner, because if you go down that same, old tired path you've been traveling yet again, you'll be lucky if all you hit is a crossroad.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Raiders give voice to past

We had just lifted our beer glasses to the sky to toast a great day of football, when an old, wonderful voice came booming across the frosty hills of Southwest Germany and through the double doors of the Grill Room.

By now, we were into the wee hours -- and many, many pils -- of this Monday morning.
It was right about the time the Raiders (The Raiders!) were putting the finishing touches on their improbable win over the heavily favored Eagles, when we heard it...

The Autumn wind is a pirate
Blustering in from sea
With a rollicking song he sweeps along
Swaggering boisterously.

His face is weatherbeaten
He wears a hooded sash
With a silver hat about his head
And a bristling black mustache.

He growls as he storms the country
A villain big and bold
And the trees all shake and quiver and quake
As he robs them of their gold.

The Autumn wind is a Raider
Pillaging just for fun
He'll knock you 'round and upside down
And laugh when he's conquered and won.

And as the late, great John Facenda's "Voice of God," from NFL Films' fame of yesteryear, recited The Autumn Wind, we rose our glasses high yet again, and toasted all that has always been good about the NFL.

Because in a season that was starting to define itself by its numbing predictability, Facenda, if only in spirit, and the Raiders, in fact, were back to remind us that on any given Sunday, anything was possible in the National Football League...

Now onto a sampling of what the nation's sportswriters and columnists are saying about their football teams across every NFL city, because in the Grill Room we love the newspaper business, even if it hates itself.

(20) Houston 28
(10) Cincinnati 17

Kubiak throws his run-first philosophy for a loss, and wins.
Bengals fell off the high wire and into a trap.

(18) Green Bay 26
(24) Detroit 0

Sloppy Packers won't apologize for whipping a lousy Lions team, which...
...has plenty to apologize for.

(22) Jacksonville 23
(32) St. Louis 20 (OT)

Jags shot themselves in the foot but limped to a win.
Rams knock at victory's door, but are left out in the cold -- again.

(4) Minnesota 33
(11) Baltimore 31

Unbeaten Vikings are good and lucky.
Raven's kicking problems should be a secondary concern.

(2) New Orleans 48
(1) N.Y. Giants 27

Saints use measuring stick to paddle Giants.
Eli's Rebel yell might as well have been a call for surrender.

(7) Pittsburgh 27
(26) Cleveland 14

No big talk from Big Ben after 'sub-par performance.'
Lowly Browns are in a league of their own.

(23) Carolina 28
(29) Tampa Bay 21

Panthers run to hide their quarterback.
The bumbling Bucs should be banned in London.

(31) Kansas City 14
(25) Washington 6

Columnist says, I can't believe what I just saw...
Redskins pathetic play leaves fans speechless.

(30) Oakland 13
(5) Philadelphia 9

Raiders find a new comfort zone and blitz.
With the offense going to the dogs, why not try Vick?

(17) Arizona 27
(21) Seattle 3

Rejuvenated Cardinals enjoy the sound of silence.
Playoffs?! Another Mora scoffs at the idea.

(9) New England 59
(27) Tennessee 0

Brady throws Titans, talk of demise for a loss.
Titans go as low as they can go in snow.

(28) Buffalo 16
(14) N.Y. Jets 13 (OT)

Bills take only a passing interest in Jets' running game, but win.
At least Sanchez's post-game comments hit their Mark.

(6) Atlanta 21
(12) Chicago 14

Falcons take their new show to prime time.
A Bears team in need is far too charitable.

(*) denotes NFL 100-proof ranking

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Tynan sings Limbaugh's Tune

So this morning as I was shuffling about corralling the coffee pot, a few eggs and some sausage in hopes of putting together some sort of decent breakfast, I was mistreated to a small-minded talker on the radio drone on and on about the wrong that was administered to radio's biggest talker, Rush Limbaugh, and the poor man's failed attempt to gain ownership of the St. Louis Rams.

This little wizard of the airways implied that because there were NFL owners whose views allegedly bent farther to the right than Limbaugh's, what happened to poor Rush was simply some kind of awful double standard. In fairness, in recent days, I've either heard or read this misguided nonsense from other folks beside the little talker.
Ugh.

Doggone it, I had every intention of dropping this thing altogether. Certainly enough has been said and written about it. Further, I realized that by typing away here, I was actually aiding and abetting Limbaugh's lost cause -- as was pointed out in of all places the Grill Room Thursday.

But with every bite I took, and contemplating the peril of ignoring my own advice, I decided it was worth making the effort, however misguided, to put an exclamation point on this hot, tired topic once and for all. Besides, what better way to burn off a good caffeine buzz?

Look, Limbaugh wasn't unceremoniously dropped from being considered an owner because of who he might be, he was dropped because of the caustic, hurtful things he's said over and over again through the years. It's that simple.

While I was eating my decent breakfast and listening to the little-minded droner, I came across this article in the New York Post.

Essentially, the story is about a famous Irish tenor named Ronan Tynan (we admit, we've never heard of the dude in the Grill Room). The story says that Tynan was dumped from singing his staple "God Bless America" before last night's playoff game between the Yankees and the Angels because he admitted to making an antisemitic crack to a Jewish woman who was looking to buy an apartment in his building on Thursday.

Here's how The Post reported it:

The alleged slur came while Dr. Gabrielle Gold-von Simson, an NYU Medical center pediatrician, was inspecting the building with a real estate agent and they bumped into the golden-throated team singer.

The agent joked to Tynan: "Don’t worry they are not Red Sox fans."

And for some reason Tynan responded by saying: "I don’t care about that, as long as they are not Jewish."

The burst of bigotry stunned Gold-von Simson, who said "Why is that?"

According to the team, Tynan said that a lot of "scary" Jewish ladies had been looking at the apartment before.

Up until Thursday, Tynan could well have been the biggest antisemite this side of David Duke, and it wouldn't have mattered. Up until Thursday, Tynan had managed to keep all that ugliness tucked inside his fat head and cold heart. He was just the Irish tenor with the beautiful voice.

The moment those nasty words came out of his mouth, and he admitted to them, everything changed. He was now the antisemitic Irish tenor with the beautiful voice.

Armed with that sad information, the Yankees felt bound to hold him and their reputation accountable, and they dumped him cold.

Was there really any other choice where Limbaugh and the NFL was concerned?

Friday, October 16, 2009

Redskins' Vets Need Eyes Checked

There was a time when the Washington Redskins actually went about their business on and off the field in a classy, dignified manner, and expected to compete for championships year in and year out. They were a model organization that did things the right way, even if they represented a city that has so often had it wrong.

I guess, then, it's mighty decent of these current Redskins to lower themselves several notches, so they no longer stand out in Washington's sea of dysfunction.

The new version of the Redskins wouldn't know class if they were handed the book. They are run by a maniacal little creep of an owner, Dan Snyder (pictured), who's wise-guy smirk has become the face of the organization.
Their undermanned and overrated team goes about its business on the field in fits and starts, and is coached by a nice guy who was placed in a position to fail by the creepy owner.

And if all that weren't bad enough for this bumbling lot, the proud ghosts of Redskins Past, have come back to pile on and haunt this team of Redskins Present.

Over the past week or so, the Riggins, Jurgensens, Huffs and Theismanns of the Redskins glory days have come forward, and in one form or another, verbally taken apart the current team.

But even this highly decorated firing squad has managed to come off half-cocked, because as they took dead aim and fired off their brutal assessments of the coach, the quarterback, and the general manager, they somehow missed the biggest target of all -- the owner.

Go figure.

Maybe the old guys' eyes aren't what they used to be, or maybe things are so bad for tortured Redskins fans that they can't even count on the proud past to help right what's wrong with the putrid present.

But while you're chewing on the Redskins' demise, there a few other things that need answering around the NFL.
Like...

Has there ever been a coach that deserved a win more than Cincinnati's defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer?
Here's why we're asking:
Because three days before Zimmer's Bengals were to play the favored Ravens in Baltimore Sunday, he came home to find his 50-year-old wife, Vikki, had died of unknown causes.
If Zimmer had taken a pass at coaching Sunday's game, or just skipped the rest of the season for that matter, nobody would have blamed him. But Zimmer made the trip to Baltimore and coached a defense that was probably the biggest reason for Cincinnati's 17-14 win over the high-flying Ravens. Zimmer got the game ball afterward, and told the team, "I just appreciate all your effort."
We'll take a guess that that sentiment went both ways.

Didn't Sunday's Tennessee at New England matchup look like a real dandy six weeks ago?
Here's why we're asking:
Because 0-5 Tennessee has been one of the biggest disappointment of the year. Frankly, you'd be hard pressed to come up with a team that's fallen farther faster -- ever.
At 13-3, Tennessee had the best record in the NFL last year. Over the past three years, the team has sported a 31-17 ledger, so this sudden futility is hard to explain.
Much was made of the departure of DT Albert Haynesworth in the offseason, but the Titans' biggest loss might have been defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz, who bolted to take over as head coach of the Lions. Under the new D-Coordinator Chuck Cecil, the Titans are ranked 29th in the league in scoring defense.
Defense has always been the bread and butter of this squad. Much more of this and their fans will want them on bread and water.

Is anybody surprised Rush Limbaugh is blaming others for his for embarrassing attempt to gain admittance into the NFL owners' club?
Here's why we're asking:
Because we just feel like rubbing it in.

Moving right along...

Take your pick

For informational purposes only...some picks for Week 6 action around the NFL brought to you by folks who most likely know as much about the game as you do:
ESPN
YAHOO!
CBS Sports
CNN/SI
NBC
SportingNews
AP

College:
SportingNews
CBS Sports
NBC

This Week's Grill Room NFL 100-PROOF lock: Jacksonville over St. Louis, minus-9.5:
We admit it, we played prevent-defense with our pick last week and you got burned. We were scared of the heavy road dogs, and you got mauled. Now you are wondering what you ever saw in this place.

Instead of going with what had been working all year, riding the heavy home favorites, we went back in time and served you a messy road favorite. Problem is, we went too far back in time and Hugh Millen returned to play quarterback for the Patriots against the Broncos. Tom Brady was supposed to be the headline ingredient of that selection, but went missing.

Well, no more looking back to the days of old, my dear customers.
If heavy-home favorites are the dependable dish this year, then that's what we'll serve. And just to show you how serious we are about all this, we will even lay off the tempting No. 1 Giants and the points on the road against the Saints. How's that for discipline?

No, this week we're recommending the flaming-hot Jaguar Del Rio, minus-9.5 against the pathetic Rams, who occupy the bottom spot our NFL 100-PROOF RANKINGS. The Jags have had a whole week to digest the mess they were force-fed on the road last week in Seattle. This Grill Room heavy home favorite will come out piping hot and blow you and the Rams away.
Enjoy.

(Season record: 3-2)

Tape it up

To get the latest on all the aches and breaks around the NFL go here.
For the very latest in-depth information on the key injuries in the league such as to quarterbacks E. Manning, Stafford, Palmer and more go here.

TV Time
If you can't stop by the Grill Room, here's the college and pro football fare that's cooking on the tube this weekend:
(For our U.S. military viewers and their families overseas the games American Forces Network will be showing are in bold.)

COLLEGE:

Friday, Oct. 16
Pittsburgh at Rutgers, 8 p.m., ESPN

Saturday, Oct. 17
Oklahoma vs. Texas at Dallas, Noon, ABC
Iowa at Wisconsin, Noon, ESPN
Northwestern at Michigan State, Noon, ESPN2
Ohio State at Purdue, Noon, Big Ten Network
Delaware State at Michigan, Noon, Big Ten Network
Mississippi State at Middle Tennessee, 12:30 p.m., ESPNU
Wyoming at Air Force, 2 p.m., Mtn.
USC at Notre Dame, 3:30 p.m., NBC
Arkansas at Florida, 3:30 p.m., CBS
Minnesota at Penn State, 3:30 p.m., ABC
Texas Tech at Nebraska, 3:30 p.m., ABC
California at UCLA, 3:30 p.m., ABC
North Carolina State at Boston College, 3:30 p.m., ABC
Marshall at West Virginia, 3:30 p.m., Big East Network
Houston at Tulane, 3:30 p.m., CBS CSN
Colorado State at TCU, 4 p.m., Versus
Virginia at Maryland, 4 p.m., ESPNU
Virginia Tech at Georgia Tech, 6 p.m., ESPN2
BYU at San Diego State, 6 p.m., Mtn.
Illinois at Indiana, 7 p.m., Big Ten Network
UAB at Mississippi, 7 p.m., FSN
Kansas at Colorado, 7 p.m., FSN
Kentucky at Auburn, 7:30 p.m., ESPNU
Miami at Central Florida, 7:30, CBS CSN
South Carolina at Alabama, 7:45 p.m., ESPN
Missouri at Oklahoma State, 9:15 p.m., ESPN2
Utah at UNLV, 10 p.m., Mtn.
Washington at Arizona State, 10:15 p.m., FSN

NFL:

Sunday, Oct. 18
(Byes: Dallas Indianapolis Miami San Francisco)
Houston at Cincinnati 1 p.m., CBS
Detroit at Green Bay 1 p.m., FOX
St. Louis at Jacksonville 1 p.m., FOX
Baltimore at Minnesota 1 p.m., CBS
N.Y. Giants at New Orleans 1 p.m., FOX
Cleveland at Pittsburgh 1 p.m., CBS
Carolina at Tampa Bay 1 p.m., FOX
Kansas City at Washington 1 p.m., CBS
Philadelphia at Oakland 4:05 p.m., FOX
Arizona at Seattle 4:05 p.m., FOX
Tennessee at New England 4:15 p.m., CBS
Buffalo at N.Y. Jets 4:15 p.m., CBS
Chicago at Atlanta 8:20 p.m., NBC

Monday, Oct. 19
Denver at San Diego 8:30 p.m., ESPN
(All times EST)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Limbaugh's loss is his gain

Rush Limbaugh won.
And with every word I type, or she types, or you read...his margin of victory increases.

The only person surer than I was that the right-wing, radio talk-show host had no shot at becoming an owner of the St. Louis Rams football team was Limbaugh himself.

And if I knew it, and Rush knew it, rest assured the NFL knew it too.

Commissioner Roger Goodell didn't just tip his hand, he clenched it in a fist when he addressed the Limbaugh issue earlier this week at the NFL owners meetings in Boston.
"I have said many times before that we are all held to a higher standard here," the commissioner said. "I think divisive comments are not what the NFL is all about. I would not want to see those kind of comments from people who are in a responsible position within the NFL. No. Absolutely not."

But my, what commotion all this has created, eh? In addition to blunt reaction from the usually cautious Goodell, he had the players in all kinds of tizzy, the union readying the torches, the owners diving for cover, and sparks flying off the keyboards in newsrooms everywhere.

For people like Limbaugh, it's all about the attention. By simply being Rush Limbaugh, he knows he can inject himself into any conversation or situation no matter how patently ridiculous or unbecoming, because he is a proud, polarizing figure with a mountain for a pulpit.

I have never figured out whether Limbaugh believes everything he says, though I am quite certain he doesn't.
I give him full credit for being an evil-genius who knows exactly what to say for three hours a day to keep his base feeling disenfranchised, disillusioned, scared, angry, and most importantly, listening, so he can clean up on all that advertising moolah and buy his way into any conversation.

Limbaugh knows that with that loot in his fat, little hands, he is in a position to toy with the likes of the Republican Party, the NAACP, any number of women's rights groups, or the National Football League...

Limbaugh knows that enough of us still believe that right (no, not that right) has to win out over wrong at least most of the time in this world. It just has to.
He knows that if he can threaten that comfortable premise, he has succeeded in making his world a little bigger, ours a little smaller, and his wallet a little fatter.

Limbaugh is the chubby, snotty-nosed 6-year-old at the birthday party with all the toys and treats. He doesn't need another toy or slice of cake, he needs to be stared at and listened to. In the world of that spoiled 6-year-old, attention is currency, and, buddy, negative attention beats no attention at all.

In the coming days, Limbaugh will invariably dine on this latest 'slight.'
He'll make sure that the listeners, who chase his sludge like it were some kind of gospel, understand that he was the victim of a left-wing conspiracy that will soon will be knocking at their doors.

And when he's sufficiently satisfied that he has made his loss theirs, he'll slink away to his mansion, light a cigar, and laugh out loud.

He will have won again.

You're welcome, Rush.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Showdown Sunday in New Orleans

The table is set, and for the first time in the Grill Room's short but storied history, the top two teams in our NFL 100-PROOF RANKINGS are bubbling over and ready to uncork what they've been bottling in order to see which team is made of the strongest stuff.

And though it's oh-so tempting to continue pouring out an endless stream of metaphors to set up what's on tap in this 100-proof matchup, we'll just call for the tab, and point out how appropriate it is that the showdown between the No. 1 Giants and No. 2 Saints is in New Orleans.

Let's pop the keg on this baby already! Er, sorry...

Prost!

THE STRONG STUFF

1 (1) N.Y. Giants (99 proof, 5-0) Nobody plays the the Rodney Dangerfield card better than this club. Saints should beware of falling chips as Giants shoulder rough-and-tumble burden of getting so little respect.
2 (2) New Orleans (96 proof, 4-0) Beat back Buddy boy's Jets two weeks ago, but N.J.'s varsity squad visits Sunday.
3 (3) Indianapolis (95 proof, 5-0) Quick, besides Reggie Wayne name another Colt WR. That's what we figured. No matter, Peyton could throw to John Wayne and put up monster numbers.
4 (4) Minnesota (94 proof, 5-0) For the first time in decades, the Vikes are beginning to look like a squad you can trust week in and week out -- except for the 40-year-old QB, what's-his-name. Beware the hamstring...