Rush Limbaugh won. And with every word I type, or she types, or you read...his margin of victory increases.
The only person surer than I was that the right-wing, radio talk-show host had no shot at becoming an owner of the St. Louis Rams football team was Limbaugh himself.
And if I knew it, and Rush knew it, rest assured the NFL knew it too.
Commissioner Roger Goodell didn't just tip his hand, he clenched it in a fist when he addressed the Limbaugh issue earlier this week at the NFL owners meetings in Boston. "I have said many times before that we are all held to a higher standard here," the commissioner said. "I think divisive comments are not what the NFL is all about. I would not want to see those kind of comments from people who are in a responsible position within the NFL. No. Absolutely not."
But my, what commotion all this has created, eh? In addition to blunt reaction from the usually cautious Goodell, he had the players in all kinds of tizzy, the union readying the torches, the owners diving for cover, and sparks flying off the keyboards in newsrooms everywhere.
For people like Limbaugh, it's all about the attention. By simply being Rush Limbaugh, he knows he can inject himself into any conversation or situation no matter how patently ridiculous or unbecoming, because he is a proud, polarizing figure with a mountain for a pulpit.
I have never figured out whether Limbaugh believes everything he says, though I am quite certain he doesn't. I give him full credit for being an evil-genius who knows exactly what to say for three hours a day to keep his base feeling disenfranchised, disillusioned, scared, angry, and most importantly, listening, so he can clean up on all that advertising moolah and buy his way into any conversation.
Limbaugh knows that with that loot in his fat, little hands, he is in a position to toy with the likes of the Republican Party, the NAACP, any number of women's rights groups, or the National Football League...
Limbaugh knows that enough of us still believe that right (no, not that right) has to win out over wrong at least most of the time in this world. It just has to. He knows that if he can threaten that comfortable premise, he has succeeded in making his world a little bigger, ours a little smaller, and his wallet a little fatter.
Limbaugh is the chubby, snotty-nosed 6-year-old at the birthday party with all the toys and treats. He doesn't need another toy or slice of cake, he needs to be stared at and listened to. In the world of that spoiled 6-year-old, attention is currency, and, buddy, negative attention beats no attention at all.
In the coming days, Limbaugh will invariably dine on this latest 'slight.' He'll make sure that the listeners, who chase his sludge like it were some kind of gospel, understand that he was the victim of a left-wing conspiracy that will soon will be knocking at their doors.
And when he's sufficiently satisfied that he has made his loss theirs, he'll slink away to his mansion, light a cigar, and laugh out loud.
The N.Y. Jets went down to Houston last Sunday, licked the storied Texans, and now are talking like they are the second coming of the Patriots.
Yep, Rex Ryan's team really knows how to handle success, eh? Looks like this big apple didn't fall too far from daddy, Buddy's tree.
On Tuesday, the younger Ryan (pictured) made it clear to Jets fans that, "he is not here to kiss a ring," referencing Bill Belichick's three Super Bowl rings he's won with the Patriots, the Jets foe on Sunday.
It was only only four months ago when the John Candy of coaches said on New York's WFAN, "I never came here to kiss Bill Belichick's rings," which would mean either he needs to get some new material or he has a serious jewelry fetish.
No matter, word is his players just love the guy! He's like the cool parent that let's the neighborhood kids get away with saying swear words and stuff. Neato!
On Thursday, the Jets' free safety Kerry Rhodes outdid his cool coach when he had this to say to the New York Daily News' Gary Myers about playing the Patriots: “You go out from the first quarter on, from the first play on, and try to embarrass them. Not just go out there and try to win, try to embarrass them. Try to make them feel bad when they leave here. We don’t want to just beat them. We want to send a message to them, ‘We’re not backing down from you and we expect to win this game, and it’s not going to be luck, it’s not going to be a mistake.’ ”
At a time it seems everybody is running their mouths, from congressmen...to star tennis players... to star rappers...maybe we should just give the Jets the benefit of the doubt, and construe all this as some weird kind of childish, motivational self-talk.
Or, maybe, the laugh-a-minute Ryan would be better served reminding his team and himself that talk is dirt cheap, and widely available to all shoppers, but the cost of winning isn't.
Thing is, if any franchise should know this, it's the Jets. This is a team that hasn't beaten the Patriots at home in eight years. This is a team that hasn't even seen a Super Bowl in 40 years. This is a team that has won three playoff games over the last 12 years, during which time the Patriots have played in FIVE Super Bowls, winning three of them.
But here they are, all big and bad at 1-0, a rookie coach and quarterback at the helm, and talking like they own the NFL. Truth is, they don't even own their own city.
Should the Jets back up their big talk with a victory Sunday, bar the door, Katie, because they will become positively insufferable to deal with, and moving targets in every NFL stadium they visit this year.
Really, the best thing that could happen to this group would be to get knocked off their soap box fast. It'll hurt a lot less that way, because right now, they really don't have that far to fall.
Here's what else is on the Football Friday Menuin the Grill Room:
Take your pick For informational purposes only...some picks for Week 2 action around the NFL brought to you by folks who most likely know as much about the game as you do: ESPN YAHOO! CBS Sports FOX CNN/SI NBC SportingNews
This Week's Grill Room NFL 100-PROOF lock:Washington over St. Louis minus-9. Warning: Week 2 might be the most dangerous forecasting week of any football season. Why? Because all the teams have film on their opponents, and are able to set their game plans accordingly.
Week 1 is much more of a guessing game, where, with little else to go on, the best talent often simply wins out. There are loads of so-called experts in the soup line each year after Week 2 because they put too much stock, and money, into what a team did, or didn't do, in Week 1.
With that in mind, and even if we did hit our pick last week right on the number making our patrons in the GR boatloads of cash, don't expect us to go all Rex Ryan on you with this week's offering. We practice what we preach around here, and will let our picks do the talking.
No. 19 Washington was outclassed by the No. 3 Giants last week on the road, but did a decent job limiting the Jints' vaunted rushing game to 103 yards on 31 carries. This week, the Redskins' defense will face a St. Louis offense that was positively anemic on the road in a 28-0 loss at Seattle. Expect DT Albert Haynesworth and the gang to play downhill and in the Rams' backfield all day long. The Redskins open at home with an easy 24-10 win over the No. 31 Rams.
TV Time If you can't stop by the Grill Room, here's the college and pro football fare that's cooking on the tube this weekend: (For our U.S. military viewers and their families overseas the games American Forces Network will be showing are in bold.)
COLLEGE:
Friday, Sept. 18 Boise State at Fresno State, 9 p.m., ESPN
Saturday, Sept. 19 California at Minnesota, Noon, ESPN East Carolina at North Carolina, Noon, ESPN2 Boston College at Clemson, Raycom Duke at Kansas, Noon, Versus Eastern Michigan at Michigan, Noon, Big Ten Network Northern Illinois at Purdue, Noon, Big Ten Network Temple at Penn State, Noon, Big Ten Network Wofford at Wisconsin, Noon, Big Ten Network Louisville at Kentucky, Noon, ESPNU North Texas at Alabama, 12:21 p.m., SEC Network Tennessee at Florida, 3:30 p.m., CBS USC at Washington, 3:30 p.m., ABC Nebraska at Virginia Tech, 3:30 p.m., ABC Arizona at Iowa, 3:30 p.m., ABC Michigan State at Notre Dame, 3:30 p.m. Utah at Oregon, 3:30 p.m., ESPN Tulsa at Oklahoma, 3:30 p.m., FSN Indiana at Akron, 3:30 p.m., ESPNU Virginia at Southern Miss, 3:30 p.m., CBS CSN Cincinnati at Oregon State, 6:45 p.m., FSN Florida State at BYU, 7 p.m., Versus Louisiana-Lafayette at LSU, 7 p.m., ESPNU Air Force at New Mexico, 7:30 p.m., CBS CSN Georgia at Arkansas, 7:45 p.m., ESPN West Virginia at Auburn, 7:45 p.m., ESPN2 Texas Tech at Texas, 8 p.m., ABC Kansas State at UCLA, 10:15 p.m., FSN Hawaii at UNLV, 11 p.m., Mtn.
NFL: Sunday, Sept. 20 Carolina at Atlanta 1 p.m.,FOX Minnesota at Detroit 1 p.m., FOX Cincinnati at Green Bay 1 p.m., CBS Arizona at Jacksonville 1 p.m., FOX Oakland at Kansas City 1 p.m., CBS New England at N.Y. Jets 1 p.m., CBS New Orleans at Philadelphia 1 p.m., FOX Houston at Tennessee 1 p.m., CBS St. Louis at Washington 1 p.m., FOX Tampa Bay at Buffalo 4:05 p.m., FOX Seattle at San Francisco 4:05 p.m., FOX Pittsburgh at Chicago 4:15 p.m., CBS Cleveland at Denver 4:15 p.m., CBS Baltimore at San Diego 4:15 p.m., CBS N.Y. Giants at Dallas 8:20 p.m., NBC
Monday, Sept. 21 Indianapolis at Miami 8:30 p.m., ESPN (All times EST)
