Well, what can we tell ya, folks? We're pretty proud we can call God a regular at the Grill Room. He's well-behaved, a good tipper, drinks only the best stuff, keeps the clientele buzzing with some mind-boggling card tricks, and is patient answering the questions our bartenders often tire of.
Last week, when we asked Him why He hated Michigan, The Big Guy took offense and then pity. Why, He not only saw to it that the Lions ended their 19-game losing streak, but also made sure the most corrupt city in the world was punished for its evil ways. By sending Washington's team to ingloriously fall at the feet of the lousy Lions, He illustrated with a master's stroke that sometimes punishment can reap rewards.
So, with God at our side, we are looking for more answers around here as Week 4 of the NFL season gets set to unfold.
Answers to stuff like... Do teams really need a break after playing all of three games? Here's why we're asking: Because Philly, Arizona, Atlanta, and Carolina get a day off this weekend. This makes the hours Congress works seem strenuous.If the NFL is intent on this silly 17-week schedule, at least move the first byes back a few weeks, so all the teams can benefit from some time off toward the middle of the year. As it is now, bye weeks end after Week 10. If there is sense in this, we are missing it. But how 'bout just getting rid of the bye weeks altogether.
Isn't Broncos' rookie head coach Josh McDaniels owed an apology? Here's why we're asking: Because after getting tarred and feathered for dumping cry-baby QB Jay Cutler, putting big-mouth WR Brandon Marshall in timeout, and for having the stones to do things his own way despite following Mile-High legend Mike Shanahan, McDaniels has his team off to a 3-0 start. And get this, the Patriots' former offensive coordinator has a defense that has given up a total of 16 points this year! So what if their next eight games look like this:Cowboys, Patriots, Chargers, Ravens, Steelers, Redskins, Chargers, and Giants. Um, er, whoa? On second thought, maybe we should have waited to ask this question...
Did Nike shareholders almost have a collective heart attack this week? Here's why we're asking: Because on Wednesday, Michael Vick's handlers, otherwise known as agents, announced that their client had struck a new deal with Nike. By Thursday, and faster than you can spell PETA, Nike made it clear that they, in fact, did not have a contractual relationship with the Eagles' QB, who has returned to the league this year after serving 18 months in prison for running a dog-fighting operation. Nike said it is only providing shoes to Vick. Wonder what the agent's cut is...
Take your pick
For informational purposes only...some picks for Week 3 action around the NFLbrought to you by folks who most likely know as much about the game as you do: ESPN YAHOO! CBS SportsCNN/SI NBC SportingNews LA Times AP
This Week's Grill Room NFL 100-PROOF lock:San Francisco over St. Louis, minus-9.5 Last week we got plum angry and made a peach of pick when the Eagles thrashed the Chiefs to get us (and you) back on the winning side of the ledger.We've calmed down a bit around here, but we're guessing one of our favorite coaches in the league, Mike Singletary, hasn't after getting Favre-d last week in Minnesota. Mike handled the whole thing eerily well right after the game, though we have it on good word that Singletary later set off the smoke alarm on the plane during the flight back to San Francisco when his hair spontaneously combusted when watching game film.
Good thing for Singletary's No. 9 San Franciscans that the sacrificial Rams will be delivered on a skewer to the Bay Area this weekend -- especially with RB Frank Gore sidelined with a bad ankle (see below). Look for the 49er defense to snuff out the 30th-ranked Ram's only offensive threat, RB Steven Jackson, and roll big over a team that's averaging all of eights point a game this year.
We'll say, 31-10, but, as always, Coach Mike will have the final say.
(Season record: 2-1)
Tape it up
If you are wondering how your favorite nicked-up player is progressing, go here.
Speaking of Favre, it took the 39-year-old QB three weeks to make the Vikes' injury report. This will be a constant until he is finally knocked out, and onto, the inactive list. No way the guy goes all 16 games this year.
At least the 49ers will be kind enough to serve the Rams Coffee while they are battering them all over the field Sunday.
TV Time If you can't stop by the Grill Room, here's the college and pro football fare that's cooking on the tube this weekend: (For our U.S. military viewers and their families overseas the games American Forces Network will be showing are in bold.)
COLLEGE:
Friday, Oct. 2 Pittsburgh at Louisville, 8 p.m., ESPN2 Utah State at BYU, 9p.m., Mtn.
Saturday, Oct. 3 Wisconsin at Minnesota, Noon, ESPN Alabama at Kentucky, Noon, SEC Network Arkansas State at Iowa, Noon, ESPN2 Michigan at Michigan State, Noon, Big Ten Network Northwestern at Purdue, Noon, Big Ten Network Clemson at Maryland, Noon, ESPNU East Carolina at Marshall, Noon, CBS CSN Washington at Notre Dame, 3:30 p.m., NBC LSU at Georgia, 3:30 p.m., CBS Penn State at Illinois, 3:30 p.m., ABC Florida State at Boston College, 3:30 p.m., ABC UCLA at Stanford, 3:30 p.m., ABC North Carolina State at Wake Forest, 3:30 p.m., ESPNU New Mexico at Texas Tech, 3:30 p.m., FSN Air Force at Navy, 3:30 p.m., CBS CSN Mississippi at Vanderbilt, 7 p.m., ESPNU Ohio State at Indiana, 7 p.m., Big Ten Network Texas A&M at Arkansas, 7:30 p.m., ESPN2 Tulsa at Rice, 7:30 p.m., CBS CSN Auburn at Tennessee, 7:45 p.m., ESPN Oklahoma at Miami, 8 p.m., ABC USC at California, 8 p.m., ABC SMU at TCU, 8 p.m., Mtn. Colorado State at Idaho, 10:30 p.m., ESPNU
NFL:
Sunday Oct. 4 (Byes: Arizona Atlanta Carolina Philadelphia) Detroit at Chicago 1 p.m., FOX Cincinnati at Cleveland 1 p.m., CBS Oakland at Houston 1 p.m., CBS Seattle at Indianapolis 1 p.m., FOX Tennessee at Jacksonville 1 p.m., CBS N.Y. Giants at Kansas City 1 p.m., FOX Baltimore at New England 1 p.m., CBS Tampa Bay at Washington 1 p.m., FOX Buffalo at Miami 4:05 p.m., CBS N.Y. Jets at New Orleans 4:05 p.m., CBS Dallas at Denver 4:15 p.m., FOX St. Louis at San Francisco 4:15 p.m., FOX San Diego at Pittsburgh 8:20 p.m., NBC
Monday, Oct. 5 Green Bay at Minnesota 8:30 p.m., ESPN (All times EST) (Detroit Free Press, photo)
Who says Washington doesn't hear the cries of hurting Americans all across the fruited plain? Who says it doesn't hear the calls of those desperate souls who are praying for hope, and pleading for change?
Consider the shrewd bit of politics that were engineered over the weekend when this city of losers sent the standard-bearer of its lost causes up to Detroit to give aid and comfort to a city ravaged by unemployment and even worse football.
Dan Snyder's Washington Redskins were a magnificent picture of incompetence worthy of the city they hail from, when they fell, 19-14, to a Detroit Lions football team that hadn't beaten anybody in over a year-and-a-half.
This mission of mercy won't soon be forgotten by the citizens of the Motor City, who can be excused this Monday morning if they're caught daydreaming about shorter unemployment lines, Japanese cars that get six miles to the gallon, and a responsive Washington.
There is every reason to believe that Snyder's gang will extend their program for the needy when the lowly Tampa Bay Buccaneers visit the nation's capital Sunday.
Yes indeed, fellow Americans, hope has finally arrived...
Now onto a sampling of what the nation's sportswriters and columnists are saying about their football teams across every NFL city, because in the Grill Room we love the newspaper business, even if it hates itself.
Week 3 of the NFL season will kick off in less than 48 hours and we figure it's about time we got some answers in the Grill Room.
Answers to what? That's another question, sluggo. I said we're looking for answers around here. Answers to stuff like... Why does God hate Michigan? Here's why we're asking: Because isn't it bad enough that Kid Rock calls the place home? What, a 15.6 percent unemployment rate isn't high enough that these poor people also have to watch their football team go on strike each Sunday?! If the Lions don't win at home against the impotent Redskins this weekend, they will become only the second team in NFL history to have lost at least 20 straight games. Then they'll have nothing between them and the 1976-77 Tampa Bay Yucks, who fumbled their way to a record 26 losses in a row. Good Michiganders all over the state will be dropping to their knees Sunday praying for one stinking win. And, if God forbid, they come up short yet again, they can least give thanks that many of them weren't forced to watch it.
Like... Are Buddy boys' Jets for real? Here's why we're asking: Because after watching 'em whack Tom Terrific's Patsies around Giants Stadium last week, the J-E-T-S Jets, Jets, Jets are almost deserving of a Stadium that bears their own name. A desperate Titans' squad will be throwing hay-makers when it shows up at the home of the Giants to play the Jets Sunday. If the Jets win this brawl, they get to call it Jiants Stadium for a week.
Like... Will Jerry's 'Boys make the most of their do-over against Carolina Monday night? Here's why we're asking: Because after dropping enough money to take the Michigan unemployment rate down by about 10 percent, the Cowboy owner stuck his rootin'-tootin' finger in his nose and looked on Sunday night as the hated Giants crashed his celebration for himself. Oh, yeah, and his team also lost the first game ever in their new palace. Jerry gets another chance for a Texas-size pat on the back Monday night when his pards take on the struggling Panthers. Note to Jerry: Bring Kleenex this time. But enough with the questions. Here's what else is on the Football Friday Menuin the Grill Room:
Take your pick For informational purposes only...some picks for Week 3 action around the NFLbrought to you by folks who most likely know as much about the game as you do:
This Week's Grill Room NFL 100-PROOF lock:Philadelphia over Kansas City minus-9.5 Who says anger isn't a great motivator? Well, we're angry as hell in the Grill Room and we're not going to take anymore.
We are completely fried about steering you toward the slop that passes for a football team in Washington last week. The No. 20 Deadskins crawled to nine frickin' points against the visiting No. 29 Rams. Nine! Congress gets more done than Jim Zorn's offense for crying out loud!
So we're sorry about that one, folks. And angry -- but not as angry as the No. 9 Eagles will be when they take the field at the Stink Sunday against No. 27 Kansas City.
The Iggles once-proud defense was absolutely shredded by The Saints "Most Offensive Show on Earth" last week, giving up 48 points! To put that in perspective, consider that you have to go all the way back to 1962, or before the owner of the Grill Room even had his first drink, for a poorer effort. And at least that squad gave up 49 to Vince Lombardi's vaunted Packers that day.
Lombardi's Packers-Sean Peyton's Saints equals Jumbo-shrimp. It was that bad against the Saints...So it's a pretty good bet Kansas City is going to run into an angry flock of Eagles this week -- Donovan McNabb or no Donovan McNabb. Sidebar: Michael Vick is expected to make his debut Sunday. Look for him in loads of cleanup action after the birds use anger as a tool to wallop the Chiefs. Lay the points.
(Season record: 1-1)
Tape it up Beware the injury, and there are plenty of 'em around the NFL as you'll see here.
The No. 1 Giants suffered a significant blow when they learned starting safety Kenny Phillips is done for the year with a knee injury. Phillips, an emerging star, picked off Tony Romo twice in the Giants' 33-31 victory over the 'Boys Sunday night.
TV Time If you can't stop by the Grill Room, here's the college and pro football fare that's cooking on the tube this weekend: (For our U.S. military viewers and their families overseas the games American Forces Network will be showing are in bold.)
COLLEGE:
Friday, Sept. 25 Missouri at Nevada, 9 p.m., ESPN
Saturday, Sept. 26 Michigan State at Wisconsin, Noon, ESPN LSU at Mississippi State, SEC Network Indiana at Michigan, Noon, ESPN2 Minnesota at Northwestern, Noon, Big Ten Network Southern Miss at Kansas, Noon, FSN South Florida at Florida State, Noon, ESPNU Cornell at Yale, Noon, Versus North Carolina at Georgia Tech, Noon, Raycom San Diego State at Air Force, 2 p.m., Mtn. Miami at Virginia Tech, 3:30 p.m., ABC California at Oregon, 3:30 p.m., ABC Illinois at Ohio State, 3:30 p.m., ABC Arkansas at Alabama, 3:30 p.m., CBS UTEP at Texas, 3:30 p.m., FSN Pittsburgh at North Carolina State, 3:30 p.m., ESPNU Western Kentucky at Navy, 3:30 p.m., CBS CSN Florida at Kentucky, 6 p.m., ESPN2 Colorado State at BYU, 6 p.m., Mtn. Arizona State at Georgia, 7 p.m., ESPNU Arizona at Oregon State, 7:30 p.m., Versus Louisville at Utah, 7:30 p.m., CBS CSN Iowa at Penn State, 8 p.m., ABC Notre Dame at Purdue, 8 p.m., ESPN Texas Tech at Houston, 9:15 p.m., ESPN2 New Mexico State at New Mexico, 10p.m., Mtn. Washington State at USC, 10:15 p.m. FSN
NFL:
Sunday, Sept. 27 Cleveland at Baltimore 1 p.m., CBS Pittsburgh at Cincinnati 1 p.m., CBS Washington at Detroit 1 p.m., FOX Jacksonville at Houston 1 p.m., CBS San Francisco at Minnesota 1 p.m., FOX Atlanta at New England 1 p.m., FOX Kansas City at Philadelphia 1 p.m., CBS Green Bay at St. Louis 1 p.m., FOX N.Y. Giants at Tampa Bay 1 p.m., FOX Tennessee at N.Y. Jets 1 p.m., CBS New Orleans at Buffalo 4:05 p.m., FOX Chicago at Seattle 4:05 p.m., FOX Denver at Oakland 4:15 p.m., CBS (jip) Miami at San Diego 4:15 p.m., CBS Indianapolis at Arizona 8:20 p.m., NBC
Monday, Sept. 28 Carolina at Dallas 8:30 p.m., ESPN (All times EST)
