Showdown Sunday in New Orleans

The table is set, and for the first time in the Grill Room's short but storied history, the top two teams in our NFL 100-PROOF RANKINGS are bubbling over and ready to uncork what they've been bottling in order to see which team is made of the strongest stuff.

And though it's oh-so tempting to continue pouring out an endless stream of metaphors to set up what's on tap in this 100-proof matchup, we'll just call for the tab, and point out how appropriate it is that the showdown between the No. 1 Giants and No. 2 Saints is in New Orleans.

Let's pop the keg on this baby already! Er, sorry...

Prost!

THE STRONG STUFF

• 1 (1) N.Y. Giants (99 proof, 5-0) Nobody plays the the Rodney Dangerfield card better than this club. Saints should beware of falling chips as Giants shoulder rough-and-tumble burden of getting so little respect.
• 2 (2) New Orleans (96 proof, 4-0) Beat back Buddy boy's Jets two weeks ago, but N.J.'s varsity squad visits Sunday.
• 3 (3) Indianapolis (95 proof, 5-0) Quick, besides Reggie Wayne name another Colt WR. That's what we figured. No matter, Peyton could throw to John Wayne and put up monster numbers.
• 4 (4) Minnesota (94 proof, 5-0) For the first time in decades, the Vikes are beginning to look like a squad you can trust week in and week out -- except for the 40-year-old QB, what's-his-name. Beware the hamstring...
  

WORTH A SHOT

• 5 (7) Philadelphia (88 proof, 3-1) Visit Oakland this week, and will try to duck in a football game if they can find an NFL club out there.
• 6 (10) Atlanta (87 proof, 3-1) Whoa! That was some very strong stuff the Falcons laid on Mike's 49ers Sunday. Coach Singletary not only blinked, he flinched.
  
• 7 (9) Pittsburgh (85 proof, 3-2) Polamalu, Parker practicing picture-perfect for Pittsburgh. Sorry.
• 8 (11) Denver (83 proof, 5-0) Broncos' McDaniels out-coaches protege Belichick, then celebrates like one of his children. How adorable.
  
• 9 (5) New England (82 proof, 3-2) Brady is missing more open guys than Barney Frank.
• 10 (14) Cincinnati (80 proof, 4-1) Bengals one Bronco miracle win from being 5-0, three nail-biters from being 1-4, but we're pouring this one half-full in the Grill Room, because...
  
• 11 (6) Baltimore (78 proof, 3-2) ...the proud Ravens were knocked flat on their backs by RB Benson and the Bengals. Will taste real ground beef in Adrian Peterson this week.
  
• 12 (12) Chicago (75 proof, 3-1) Better buckle their chin straps extra tight for road tilt against Atlanta Sunday.
• 13 (8) San Francisco (74 proof, 3-2) Get a bye week to lick their wounds after being a serious victim of 'roll reversal' in 45-10 pounding at hands of Falcons.

WATERED DOWN

• 14 (13) N.Y. Jets (72 proof, 3-2) Their two-game skid was all so predictable for these big-talking bullies. Unfortunately, games coming up against the pathetic Bills and Raiders will only bring on laryngitis.
• 15 (16) San Diego (71 proof, 2-2) We'll say the team that Norv built will hand Denver its first loss when it comes visiting Monday night.
• 16 (21) Miami (70 proof, 2-3) OK, this is getting freaky. Not only does the Dolphins' coach have a name that sounds like Tony Soprano, he dresses like him! Did you see that outfit Monday night?! Fageddaboudit...
  
• 17 (20) Arizona (68 proof, 2-2) Last week we said: Took the bye week to decide whether to just quit, relax and enjoy the sun, or play on. They get one more week to make up their stinkin' minds.
  

CHEAP STUFF

• 18 (19) Green Bay (62 proof, 2-2) Hopefully they used the week off to shop for a real offensive line.
  
• 19 (19) Dallas (57 proof, 3-2) Dallas wins, yet there are calls outside the palace walls for the coach's head. King Jones says he is not stepping down anytime soon, though.
  
• 20 (17) Houston (55 proof, 2-3) Go ahead, make a prediction of what this yo-yo team is going to do against Cincinnati Sunday. I dare ya.
• 21 (25) Seattle (50 proof, 2-3) Wow, after being dismantled by Seahawks Sunday, the battered Jaguars were forced to watch the movie "Mora, Mora, Mora" on flight home.

ROT GUT

• 22 (16) Jacksonville (45 proof, 2-3) How bad is it when a team loses 41-0 and could still beat the 10 teams below it?
• 23 (23) Carolina (43 proof, 1-3) With upcoming games against Tampa Bay and Buffalo, the Panthers are on their way to becoming the worst 3-3 team in football.
• 24 (27) Detroit (38 proof, 1-4) Things are so bad in the Motor City, the Lions are actually considered progress.
• 25 (22) Washington (33 proof, 2-3) Whoops! When the Redskins beat the Chiefs Sunday, they will be the first worst 3-3 team in football. Sorry, Carolina.
  
• 26 (28) Cleveland (30 proof, 1-4) Word is Brady Quinn sold his house in Cleveland. Maybe he's not as stupid as we thought.
• 27 (24) Tennessee (27 proof, 0-5) What's that about it always being better to trade players a year too early than a year too late?
• 28 (26) Buffalo (25 proof, 1-4) You wouldn't trust Dick Jauron running water out to your Pop Warner team.
  
• 29 (29) Tampa Bay (23 proof, 0-5) Quick, name the Bucs' coach. Gotcha didn't we?
• 30 (30) Oakland (20 proof, 1-4) Coach Cable has finally resorted to beating himself up for this mess.
• 31 (31) Kansas City (19 proof, 0-5) Took the Cowboys to overtime yet never had a chance.
  
• 32 (32) St. Louis (15 proof, 0-5) Has a better than 50/50 shot at 0-16.

(*) -- denotes last week's ranking.

Denver won?! You Must be Dreamin'

The last thing I really remember is that a bunch of us were gathered around the big screen in the Grill Room last night to watch the overrated Broncos of Kyle Orton take their licks against the vaunted Patriots of Tom Terrific.

Then, I guess, things got kind of blurry...

OK, I confess, we were pretty generous with the juice last night, but after the last shot was fired, I could have sworn I watched out of the corner of my open eye, as the Broncos kicked their way to an overtime win.

But that can't be right, can it?

Because aside from the fact that it would have meant the pupil, McDaniels, had schooled the master, Belichick...And aside from the fact that it would have meant the oh-so-average Orton had outplayed the oh-so-superior Brady...And even aside from the fact that a win would have moved the Broncos to a perfect 5-0...

Aside from all that...
The biggest single reason I am having trouble believing what I think I saw, is that the Broncos did all this improbable stuff playing in their pajamas!

Maybe I should lay off the sauce for a while.

Now onto a sampling of what the nation's sportswriters and columnists are saying about their football teams across every NFL city, because in the Grill Room we love the newspaper business, even if it hates itself.

(14) Cincinnati 17
(6) Baltimore 14

• Bengals' defense rises up and gives its heartbroken coach a lift.
• It's official, Ravens need to stop pointing fingers.
  

(28) Cleveland 6
(26) Buffalo 3

• This win was an ugly Brown with some beautiful thrown in.
  
• Go ahead, blame the guy who had the guts to dive on the hand grenade.

(23) Carolina 20
(22) Washington 17

• Carolina QB in no hurry to come to his senses.
• If the sorry Redskins put in a call to Cowher, do you really think he'd answer?
  

(9) Pittsburgh 28
(27) Detroit 20

• Steelers get three sacks and a win, baby...
• ...while Lions find out it only happens in the movies.
  

(18) Dallas 26
(31) Kansas City 20 (OT)

• Cowboys win! Now fire the coach already.
• Chiefs had a victory handed to them, but never had a chance.
  

(1) N.Y. Giants 44
(30) Oakland 7

• Eli dominates and proves heel be fine in New Orleans.
• This was as bad as it gets for Raiders...but it gets worse.
  

(7) Philadelphia 33
(29) Tampa Bay 14

• Eagles continue to soar through preseason schedule.
• The ink is dried, but Clayton can't make his mark.
  

(4) Minnesota 38
(32) St. Louis 10

• Vikings are the real deal. I mean, why worry?
• Rams put on rose-colored glasses and see progress.
  

(10) Atlanta 45
(8) San Francisco 10

• Abraham rises up and challenges his flock of Falcons to hold the line.
• Singletary has to be careful about being like Mike.
  

(20) Arizona 28
(17) Houston 21

• No reason to get defensive about Cardinals' heart-pounding win.
• Texan two-step is one step forward, one step back.
  

(11) Denver 20
(5) New England 17 (OT)

• Undefeated Broncos make quite a fashion statement against Patsies.
• Student schooled the teacher in this one.
  

(25) Seattle 41
(16) Jacksonville 0

• Seahawks' defense goes soul-searching and finds a shutout.
• Jet-lagged Jags hardly sleepless in Seattle.
  

(3) Indianapolis 31
(24) Tennessee 9

• Don't look for this perfect squad to go south in the division.
• Titans circle their wagons and crash.

(*) denotes NFL 100-proof ranking

Bill's No. 1 on the, er, list

Truth and attitude. We've been pouring both around here since we opened the Grill Room one month ago. And thanks for your patronage.

So here's today's truth: After 25 years in the newspaper business, I can tell you that when a columnist throws a list at an editor, said columnist has found absolutely nothing interesting to groan about. Or...more likely, said columnist spent too much time in a watering hole like the GR the night before, and is having trouble processing all forms of thought.

That in mind, today you are getting a list...

(Truth, Part II: One of the dirty little secrets in the business is that lists, especially thought-provoking ones, are extraordinarily reader-friendly and therefore popular. Columnists are never, ever told this.)

Today's Attitude: Ranking the NFL Coaches
(First-year coaches were spared...)

• 1. Bill Belichick, New England: Bill Parcells never won a Super Bowl without Belichick on staff. Belichick (pictured) has won three without Parcells. Maybe the greatest defensive strategist ever.
• 2. Tom Coughlin, N.Y. Giants: You want him on that wall. You need him on that wall. Nothing gets past the ultra-prepared Coughlin.
• 3. Andy Reid, Philadelphia: Reid's greatest attribute is that his teams play hard for him no matter what. Sometimes he falls in love with the pass a little too much, though.
• 4. Jeff Fisher, Tennessee: The NFL's longest-tenured coach with one team. Like Reid, his players give him all they got. Special teams this year, however, have been a disaster.
• 5. Mike Tomlin, Pittsburgh: There's a theme here... His players will run through a wall for the guy. He won the Super Bowl last year by finally learning it is OK to loosen up the offense from time to time.
• 6. John Harbaugh, Baltimore: This guy might be one of the all-time greats when his final bio is written. Took a lot of guts for a rookie coach to toss the keys to a rookie QB like Harbaugh did last year.
• 7. Mike Smith, Atlanta: See above. Like Harbaugh, Smith gave the ball to a rookie QB last year, and a franchise that had gone to the dogs (sorry, Mike), was back in the hunt.
• 8. Lovie Smith, Chicago: After a 5-11 start with the Bears, has rolled up a nifty 42-25 record. Tends to be a little conservative. Be interesting to study how he deals with pretentious, but talented QB Cutler this year.
• 9. Mike McCarthy, Green Bay: Did a heckuva job dealing with the on-again, off-again Favre crap, er, flap. That could have brought many coaches down. Tends to lose too many close games, though.
• 10. Sean Payton, New Orleans: Payton gets high points for burning the coaching bible and often scripting unconventional approaches to otherwise conventional situations. This dude will go for it from anywhere on the field on fourth down.
• 11. Brad Childress, Minnesota: Won six games his first year with the Vikes, eight the second, 10 the third, and is off to a 3-0 start this year. That, sports fans, is a positive trend.
• 12. John Fox, Carolina: His loyalty to older, more established players might be starting to hurt him. But this guy was 63-49 heading into the year with the Panthers. Rumors are heavy he's gone after this year. If so, he'll land somewhere else -- and win.
• 13. Ken Whisenhunt, Arizona: Has a brilliant four-game run to the Super Bowl last year to light up his resume. This year, though, we'll find out how good he really is dealing with that success.
• 14. Mike Singletary, San Francisco: Hard to believe there were so many doubters when the guy was finally given the head job. Is he wicked intense? Yep. But he seems to be learning how to blink every now and then.
• 15. Tony Sparano, Miami: Has to get huge credit, along with Big Brother Parcells for turning around a floundering Dolphin team last year. But bench Ted Ginn already.
• 16. Jack Del Rio, Jacksonville: Mr. Conservative would have been in the Top-10 two years ago. Could just be a case of being in one place too long. Really needs to get some Payton in 'em, though.
• 17. Jim Mora, Seattle: Showing a flare for kicking players in public -- just like daddy.
• 18. Marvin Lewis, Cincinnati: Lewis has his detractors, but fact is he is 48-50 with a franchise that's been perpetually laughable over the years. Have to think anything less than nine wins gets him run this year, though. Even the Bengals have only so much patience for the mediocre.
• 19. Gary Kubiak, Houston: Kubiak better win this year, or he's done.
• 20. Norv Turner, San Diego: Probably the luckiest man in America besides whoever is on Jennifer Aniston's arm. A loser everywhere, he then goes to a San Diego team loaded with talent -- and is managing to muck that up too.
• 21. Tom Cable, Oakland: Honestly, who could possibly know how good or bad this guy is given his owner. Has to be better than what's below him, though.
• 22. Dick Jauron, Buffalo: Has had ONE winning season in nine years as a head coach. Seriously, what keeps this guy employed?
• 23. Jim Zorn, Washington: Like Cable, the poor guy has to work for an egotistical maniac, who threw him into some deep water without a life preserver. He probably should have admitted he couldn't swim.
  
• 24. Wade Phillips, Dallas: Here's the other theme -- maniac owners. Phillips simply can't win a big game, but Jerry keeps him around because he's well-behaved, and doesn't hog the mirror.
• 25. Eric Mangini, Cleveland: Might be the worst coaching hire any franchise has ever made. What in the world did the Cleveland hierarchy see in this guy that they just HAD to have him?!

(...but not completely spared)

Ranking the rookies:

• 1. Rex Ryan, N.Y. Jets: Buddy's boy is winning and making enemies everywhere. Sound familiar?
  
• 2. Jim Schwartz, Detroit: The guy won a game for Detroit. 'Nuff said.
  
• 3. Jim Caldwell, Indianapolis: So far, so good for this easy-goer.
• 4. Josh McDaniels, Denver: Ran the childish Cutler and is still 3-0.
• 5. Steve Spagnulo, St. Louis: Patience will be tested in talent-void St. Louis.
  
• 6. Raheem Morris, Tampa Bay: Not sure what the Bucs saw in this youngster.
  
• 7. Todd Haley, Kansas City: The gentle K.C. press is already burying this guy.

(Daily Mail (UK), photo)

Some Giant Thanks and Steel resolve

We're fully expecting a rowdy crowd around the Grill Room this week because we've put the 1-1 Steelers in the No. 2 position in the NFL 100-proof rankings.

But before you start any trouble and get bounced from the joint, shut up and listen:
First, we don't genuflect to upstart squads like so many of the knuckleheads that put together their weekly rankings.
Yeah, the Jets are a surprising 2-0, but with a rookie QB at the helm, and a coach whose mouth attracts flies and more and more enemies each week, it is hard to see them beating any of the teams ranked above them if matched in, say, Omaha or something.

And that last part's key, pally. Our bartenders base their rankings on what a team would do when matched up against any other team that Sunday on a neutral field.

So, big shot, how much would you bet right now against the Steelers if they took on any of the other teams below them on that Omaha field? Come on, how much? Think Baltimore'd take 'em? Do you really have that much confidence yet in the Saints? How 'bout the Colts? The Jets...?!

Yeah, thought so. Not talking so big now, are ya?

Look, somebody's gotta make the tough calls and rein in all the insanity among the so-called NFL prognosticators out there. It ain't easy being us.

But, hey, fagedaboudit, we're all friends here, right?

Prost!

THE STRONG STUFF

• 1 (3) N.Y. Giants (98 proof, 2-0) The Giants' version of "Shock and awwwwwww..." did more to restore our faith in America than Obama after Eli's aerial bombardment of Jerry's Evil Empire on national TV.
  
• 2 (1) Pittsburgh (95 proof, 1-1) Once more: Yes, they have a loss; yes, many other teams don't; no, none of them beat Pittsburgh on a neutral field.
• 3 (13) Baltimore (94 proof, 2-0) OK, we're sold.
  
• 4 (11) New Orleans (93 proof, 2-0) Still wonder how "The Most Offensive Show on Earth" plays when football weather comes blowing in, but walloping Philadelphia, 48-22, at The Stink any time of year is mighty strong.

WORTH A SHOT

• 5 (7) Indianapolis (89 proof, 2-0) The elder Manning and his Colts perform a mathematical miracle, and throw conventional wisdom for a loss when they beat Miami by running only 35 plays to the Dolphins' 84, and hold the ball for 14:53 to the Dolphins' 45:07.
  
• 6 (10) Atlanta (88 proof, 2-0) We're not seeing any holes in this squad. However, they'll be carded at the door Sunday when they visit New England to see if they are legitimate.
  
• 7 (8) Minnesota (87 proof, 2-0) Enthusiasm should be curbed a bit with wins over awful Cleveland and Detroit. Let's see how they handle the punch in the mouth they're sure to get when Singletary's roughnecks come calling Sunday.
• 8 (16) N.Y. Jets (85 proof, 2-0) Backed up trash talk with a demon-exorcising win over the hated Patsies. But how long can this rowdy group back up Buddy boy's big mouth? A desperate Titans squad comes knocking with brass knuckles Sunday...
  
• 9 (2) Philadelphia (84 proof, 1-1) That didn't take long...A week after the GR warned Coach Reid about running it up on a thoroughly beaten opponent, the Saints came marching into Philly to beat some manners into him.
• 10 (4) New England (83 proof, 1-1) If Belichick can round this no-name group into form by season's end, Lombardi's got nothing on him. Brady or no Brady, this squad's in trouble.
  
• 11 (5) San Diego (82 proof, 1-1) Norv finally calls a running play and Ray Lewis swallows it whole. Huge play by great player against average coach.
  
• 12 (14) San Francisco (80 proof, 2-0) Coach Mike and his rough-and-ready 49ers are welcome at the Grill Room anytime. Seattle's still picking up pieces of itself off the turf of Monster Park.

WATERED DOWN

• 13 (15) Chicago (78 proof, 1-1) Grudging kudos to QB Cutler, who grudgingly took what the Steelers gave him. Nobody was a bigger giver than Steeler kicker Jeff Reed, though.
• 14 (9) Dallas (74 proof, 1-1) So Cowboys' fans, whataya think of Romo and your nose-drilling owner now?
  
• 15 (18) Arizona (72 proof, 1-1) A game plan's goal which was to keep QB Warner alive for another week by chucking it quick resulted in a statistical thing of beauty. Yes, 24-of-26 is mighty spiffy, but the longest completion went for 22 yards.

CHEAP STUFF

• 16 (26) Houston (70 proof, 1-1) Took this squad one week to renew our faith in 'em. Stood in for 60 minutes against a tough-as-nails Titans' squad on the road.
• 17 (23) Cincinnati (69 proof, 1-1) Another squad that went a long way in restoring our belief in 'em around here after big road win in Green Bay.
  
• 18 (12) Green Bay (67 proof, 1-1) This is one team we've been right about from the start. In the land of cheese, Swiss won't cut it for an offensive line.
  
• 19 (6) Tennessee (65 proof, 0-2) Far too early for a team of this caliber to be put in a desperate situation. But desperate is what they are heading to N.J. to take on Buddy boy's big-talking Jets.
  
• 20 (19) Washington (62 proof, 1-1) We repeat: The Redskins are what we thought they were, and QB Campbell is who the 'Skins thought he was when they tried to trade for a QB this year.
• 21 (21) Denver (58 proof, 2-0) The consolation prize for being the worst 2-0 team in football is being moved off the 'Rot Gut' shelf in the GR.

ROT GUT

• 22 (17) Seattle (55 proof, 1-1) Matt Hasselbeck's hurt again, and Chicago's coming to town. Oh-oh...
  
• 23 (22) Buffalo (54 proof, 1-1) Bills are praying for Buffalo weather when Saints march in Sunday.
• 24 (27) Miami (51 proof, 0-2) Never has a team done so much to lose by so little. Loss to Colts will haunt them for rest of the year.
  
• 25 (25) Carolina (48 proof, 0-2) Panthers get a chance to finish off Jerry, and restore hope with a win Monday night.
• 26 (24) Oakland (42 proof, 1-1) Stealing is one way to get wins...
  
• 27 (29) Kansas City (40 proof, 0-2) ...when you are playing a team so intent on throwing the game away.
  
• 28 (28) Tampa Bay (36 proof, 0-2) It gets worse, No. 1 Giants come visiting Sunday.
• 29 (31) St. Louis (33 proof, 0-2) Seven points in two games for Rams.
• 30 (20) Jacksonville (32 proof, 0-2) How can you start so poorly in home-opener?
• 31 (30) Cleveland (31 proof, 0-2) Cancel this story about a man named Brady.
• 32 (32) Detroit (25 proof, 0-2) Thankfully, a TV blackout looms Sunday for Lions' fans.

(*) -- denotes last week's ranking.

Rex Ryan Big Apple of Buddy's Eye

The N.Y. Jets went down to Houston last Sunday, licked the storied Texans, and now are talking like they are the second coming of the Patriots.

Yep, Rex Ryan's team really knows how to handle success, eh? Looks like this big apple didn't fall too far from daddy, Buddy's tree.

On Tuesday, the younger Ryan (pictured) made it clear to Jets fans that, "he is not here to kiss a ring," referencing Bill Belichick's three Super Bowl rings he's won with the Patriots, the Jets foe on Sunday.

It was only only four months ago when the John Candy of coaches said on New York's WFAN, "I never came here to kiss Bill Belichick's rings," which would mean either he needs to get some new material or he has a serious jewelry fetish.

No matter, word is his players just love the guy! He's like the cool parent that let's the neighborhood kids get away with saying swear words and stuff. Neato!

On Thursday, the Jets' free safety Kerry Rhodes outdid his cool coach when he had this to say to the New York Daily News' Gary Myers about playing the Patriots:
“You go out from the first quarter on, from the first play on, and try to embarrass them. Not just go out there and try to win, try to embarrass them. Try to make them feel bad when they leave here. We don’t want to just beat them. We want to send a message to them, ‘We’re not backing down from you and we expect to win this game, and it’s not going to be luck, it’s not going to be a mistake.’ ”

At a time it seems everybody is running their mouths, from congressmen...to star tennis players... to star rappers...maybe we should just give the Jets the benefit of the doubt, and construe all this as some weird kind of childish, motivational self-talk.

Or, maybe, the laugh-a-minute Ryan would be better served reminding his team and himself that talk is dirt cheap, and widely available to all shoppers, but the cost of winning isn't.

Thing is, if any franchise should know this, it's the Jets.
This is a team that hasn't beaten the Patriots at home in eight years. This is a team that hasn't even seen a Super Bowl in 40 years. This is a team that has won three playoff games over the last 12 years, during which time the Patriots have played in FIVE Super Bowls, winning three of them.

But here they are, all big and bad at 1-0, a rookie coach and quarterback at the helm, and talking like they own the NFL. Truth is, they don't even own their own city.

Should the Jets back up their big talk with a victory Sunday, bar the door, Katie, because they will become positively insufferable to deal with, and moving targets in every NFL stadium they visit this year.

Really, the best thing that could happen to this group would be to get knocked off their soap box fast. It'll hurt a lot less that way, because right now, they really don't have that far to fall.


Here's what else is on the Football Friday Menu in the Grill Room:

Take your pick
For informational purposes only...some picks for Week 2 action around the NFL brought to you by folks who most likely know as much about the game as you do:
ESPN
YAHOO!
CBS Sports
FOX
CNN/SI
NBC
SportingNews

College:
SportingNews
CBS Sports
NBC

This Week's Grill Room NFL 100-PROOF lock: Washington over St. Louis minus-9.
Warning: Week 2 might be the most dangerous forecasting week of any football season. Why? Because all the teams have film on their opponents, and are able to set their game plans accordingly.

Week 1 is much more of a guessing game, where, with little else to go on, the best talent often simply wins out. There are loads of so-called experts in the soup line each year after Week 2 because they put too much stock, and money, into what a team did, or didn't do, in Week 1.

With that in mind, and even if we did hit our pick last week right on the number making our patrons in the GR boatloads of cash, don't expect us to go all Rex Ryan on you with this week's offering. We practice what we preach around here, and will let our picks do the talking.

No. 19 Washington was outclassed by the No. 3 Giants last week on the road, but did a decent job limiting the Jints' vaunted rushing game to 103 yards on 31 carries.
This week, the Redskins' defense will face a St. Louis offense that was positively anemic on the road in a 28-0 loss at Seattle.
Expect DT Albert Haynesworth and the gang to play downhill and in the Rams' backfield all day long. The Redskins open at home with an easy 24-10 win over the No. 31 Rams.

Tape it up
Injuries are part of the game around the NFL as this week's injury report certainly bears out.
No. 2 Philadelphia isn't ruling out QB Donovan McNabb for this week's showdown with the No. 11 Saints.

TV Time
If you can't stop by the Grill Room, here's the college and pro football fare that's cooking on the tube this weekend:
(For our U.S. military viewers and their families overseas the games American Forces Network will be showing are in bold.)

COLLEGE:

Friday, Sept. 18
Boise State at Fresno State, 9 p.m., ESPN

Saturday, Sept. 19
California at Minnesota, Noon, ESPN
East Carolina at North Carolina, Noon, ESPN2
Boston College at Clemson, Raycom
Duke at Kansas, Noon, Versus
Eastern Michigan at Michigan, Noon, Big Ten Network
Northern Illinois at Purdue, Noon, Big Ten Network
Temple at Penn State, Noon, Big Ten Network
Wofford at Wisconsin, Noon, Big Ten Network
Louisville at Kentucky, Noon, ESPNU
North Texas at Alabama, 12:21 p.m., SEC Network
Tennessee at Florida, 3:30 p.m., CBS
USC at Washington, 3:30 p.m., ABC
Nebraska at Virginia Tech, 3:30 p.m., ABC
Arizona at Iowa, 3:30 p.m., ABC
Michigan State at Notre Dame, 3:30 p.m.
Utah at Oregon, 3:30 p.m., ESPN
Tulsa at Oklahoma, 3:30 p.m., FSN
Indiana at Akron, 3:30 p.m., ESPNU
Virginia at Southern Miss, 3:30 p.m., CBS CSN
Cincinnati at Oregon State, 6:45 p.m., FSN
Florida State at BYU, 7 p.m., Versus
Louisiana-Lafayette at LSU, 7 p.m., ESPNU
Air Force at New Mexico, 7:30 p.m., CBS CSN
Georgia at Arkansas, 7:45 p.m., ESPN
West Virginia at Auburn, 7:45 p.m., ESPN2
Texas Tech at Texas, 8 p.m., ABC
Kansas State at UCLA, 10:15 p.m., FSN
Hawaii at UNLV, 11 p.m., Mtn.

NFL:
Sunday, Sept. 20
Carolina at Atlanta 1 p.m., FOX
Minnesota at Detroit 1 p.m., FOX
Cincinnati at Green Bay 1 p.m., CBS
Arizona at Jacksonville 1 p.m., FOX
Oakland at Kansas City 1 p.m., CBS
New England at N.Y. Jets 1 p.m., CBS
New Orleans at Philadelphia 1 p.m., FOX
Houston at Tennessee 1 p.m., CBS
St. Louis at Washington 1 p.m., FOX
Tampa Bay at Buffalo 4:05 p.m., FOX
Seattle at San Francisco 4:05 p.m., FOX
Pittsburgh at Chicago 4:15 p.m., CBS
Cleveland at Denver 4:15 p.m., CBS
Baltimore at San Diego 4:15 p.m., CBS
N.Y. Giants at Dallas 8:20 p.m., NBC

Monday, Sept. 21
Indianapolis at Miami 8:30 p.m., ESPN
(All times EST)

(Associated Press photo)

It's Pittsburgh with a Philly chaser

After clearing the joint last night, our bartenders knocked back the good hooch and set about putting together our inaugural NFL 100-PROOF RANKINGS.

Why bartenders, you ask? Because in all of your life, and all the people you've ever known, have any of them, even once, made more sense than a bartender?

Prost!

THE STRONG STUFF

• 1) Pittsburgh (100 proof) The Grill Room subscribes to the thinking that the champ is the champ until proven otherwise. Plus, Pittsburgh runs the best organization in football.
• 2) Philadelphia (94 proof) This is a nasty team, and the controversial Vick signing signals that they are all-in this year for a title. Better be, because the window's closing fast.
• 3) N.Y. Giants (93 proof) Who does Eli Manning throw to? Otherwise, the best combined O- and D-lines in football keep the Giants in the hunt for the promised land.
• 4) New England (91 proof) Were No. 2 until dumping Seymour. Know Belichick's a genius and all, but hard to see how giving up your best defensive player makes any sense.
• 5) San Diego (90 proof) Despite coach Norv Turner, but because the Chargers are loaded on both sides of the ball. Need to stay away from Tequila, though.
  

WORTH A SHOT

• 6) Indianapolis (83 proof) Big falloff between No. 5 and 6, but Manning's still around, and the schedule is reasonable. Even catch their nemesis Patsies at home this year.
  
• 7) Tennessee (82 proof) Because Jeff Fisher is the GR's favorite coach. The dude gets every bit of talent out of his hard-nosed squad year in and year out. How long can Collins keep chucking it, though?
• 8) Minnesota (80 proof) We're buying this team's chances. All Favre has to do is make a couple of big plays each game and hand the ball to his magnificent RBs. The defense is mean.
  
• 9) Dallas (77 proof) You either like the Cowboys or you hate them. We hate them in the GR. Maybe in a year when nobody is licking their boots, the 'boys can step up and actually do something?
• 10) Arizona (74 proof) Because the GR subscribes to the thinking that the Super Bowl loser has to be in the Top 10 until proven otherwise. How long can Warner go on?
• 11) Atlanta (72 proof) Another squad we're buying. The Gonzalez pickup made too much sense. Coach Smith also seems to be the real deal.
  

WATERED DOWN

• 12) Houston (69 proof) If the season ended now, they'd be in the playoffs with this ranking. Schaub must somehow stay healthy, though.
• 13) New Orleans (68 proof) This team reminds us a lot of the Chargers in the 80s. All O and no D. But, dang, they got plenty of O, and the best QB in the conference.
• 14) Chicago (66 proof) The bouncers at the GR would run Cutler and his big mouth in a minute. Let's see what happens if he struggles early and has some real press to deal with.
• 15) Carolina (64 proof) Not sure why we are showing so little love for this squad. Call it bartender's instinct. Delhomme just seems finished to us.
• 16) Green Bay (62 proof) Suddenly every one's designer pick. If defensive wizard Dom Capers can work his magic with this defense, we'll get on board with the hype. Until and if...
• 17) Cincinnati (59 proof) Yeah, a bit of surprise but if QB Palmer's back and healthy, and if the 12th-ranked defense from a year ago keeps stepping up, this team could surprise. Shut up, Chad.

CHEAP STUFF

• 18) Baltimore (58 proof) LB Scott, gone. WR Mason, gone. D-Coach Ryan, gone. Playoff chances, gone.
• 19) Washington (56 proof) Too bad they play in the toughest division in football. Too bad Dan Snyder's their owner.
• 20) San Francisco (54 proof) We like Mike in the GR. Coach Singletary will have this squad playing hard...or else.
  

ROT GUT

• 21) Miami
• 22) Seattle
• 23) N.Y. Jets
• 24) Buffalo
• 25) Jacksonville
• 26) Oakland
• 27) St. Louis
• 28) Denver
• 29) Tampa Bay
• 30) Cleveland
• 31) Kansas City
• 32) Detroit