Showing posts with label Manning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Manning. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Willkommen to the Stammtisch, Brett!


While the Grill Room caters to mostly an American audience, we do follow certain German traditions around this joint -- besides serving the best beer in the world.

Recently, we had the idea to move around the tables with the aim of positioning one in the finest location in the place. So, after a little work, we now have our Stammtisch. It is right next to the fireplace, has unfettered access to the bar, and offers a picturesque view of the storybook German countryside on the left and our 120-inch, big-screen TV on the right.

Of course, the Stammtisch is reserved for only our finest customers, and able consumers of our strong stuff.
In the last couple of weeks, that table's been a bit quiet, even if New Orleans' Bourbon Street contingent have been regulars.

Well, this week we've invited Brett Favre's Vikings up to join the Saints and Peyton Manning's all-too-polite Colts at our Stammtisch. What they accomplished in Green Bay last Sunday was mighty strong.

The table's plenty exclusive, but it's also plenty big, so we've extended an invitation to the defending champion Steelers to gather 'round next week, but only if they go to Denver and beat the Broncos Monday night. With incentive like that, how can they lose?

The gang around the Stammtisch will be watching.



THE STRONG STUFF

  • 1 (1) New Orleans (99 proof, 7-0) With Carolina, St. Louis and Tampa Bay coming up, Saints won't play their next NFL game until the Patsies come calling on Nov. 30.
  • 2 (2) Indianapolis (95 proof, 7-0) With Manning completely ineffective (31-48, 347 yds., 0 TDs), Colts had to go to RB Addai to throw clinching TD against 49ers.
  • 3 (4) Minnesota (91 proof, 7-1) Favre and Peterson get the headlines, but Percy Harvin is the story.
WORTH A SHOT
  • 4 (3) Pittsburgh (87 proof, 5-2) Ready to head to Denver Monday night to finish what Ravens started last Sunday.
  • 5 (5) New England (85 proof, 5-2) After bye week spent in Florida with wife Gisele Bundchen, Tom Brady says his body feels great. And this is news...
  • 6 (7) Philadelphia (84 proof, 5-2) Used scrimmage against Giants to prepare for confident Cowboys this Sunday.
  • 7 (9) Baltimore (82 proof, 4-3) Put Denver in its proper place, and is fixin' to do the same with Cincy.
  • 8 (10) Cincinnati (79 proof, 5-2) Used bye week to make sure all their fillings were properly glued in place with rock-'em, sock-'em Ravens coming to town for revenge.
  • 9 (6) Denver (78 proof, 6-1) Took 'em eight weeks, but they are what we thought they were. OK, maybe they're just a little better...
  • 10 (15) Dallas (77 proof, 5-2) Well, well, it's about time the Cowboys started their rise. Otherwise, how can they fall?
  • 11 (13) Houston (76 proof, 5-3) Loss of TE Daniels, is a mighty downer to a team on the way up.
  • 12 (11) Atlanta (74 proof, 4-3) After tough loss to Saints, Falcons will benefit from Obama's NFL bailout plan when they host his team on Sunday.
WATERED DOWN
  • 13 (18) Chicago (66 proof, 4-3) This team has 9-7 written all over it.
  • 14 (8) Arizona (65 proof, 4-3) Speaking of having 9-7 written all over it...
  • 15 (16) San Diego (63 proof, 4-3) Had to play a full 60 minutes to put away awful Raiders. Lucky for them, they might need only half that to put away Giants Sunday.
  • 16 (14) Green Bay (61 proof, 4-3) Rodgers holds the ball for 10 seconds in the pocket and O-Line gets rapped. Nice...
  • 17 (12) N.Y. Giants (60 proof, 5-3) Defensive coach Sheridan vows to finally make an adjustment Sunday when he crosses his arms the other way on the sidelines.
  • 18 (17) San Francisco (58 proof, 3-4) Just what Tennessee needs, an angry 49ers team at home this Sunday.
  • 19 (19) Miami (57 proof, 3-4) Finally figured the best way to get the ball in Ted Ginn's hands -- don't throw it to him.
CHEAP STUFF
  • 20 (20) N.Y. Jets (56 proof, 4-4) Buddy boy's Jets will spend bye week talking big to themselves, because frankly, nobody else is listening anymore.
  • 21 (24) Carolina (55 proof, 3-4) Big win in Arizona Sunday, but Coach Fox won't last long holding his breath every time Delhomme drops back to pass -- even if it was only 14 times.
ROT GUT
  • 22 (21) Jacksonville (50 proof, 3-4) Enough of this team already.
  • 23 (23) Seattle (47 proof, 2-5) Just dumped Edgerrin James. There! That will fix it!
  • 24 (22) Buffalo (45 proof, 3-5) The exciting Dick Jauron is heading to Norton, Kan., during the bye week, to kick seriously tail in a bingo tournament.
  • 25 (25) Kansas City (39 proof, 1-6) Had a bye week Sunday and nobody noticed.
  • 26 (26) Oakland (37 proof, 2-5) Coach Cable will join Jauron in Norton to make sure those blue-hairs pay up -- or else.
  • 27 (30) Tennessee (30 proof, 1-6) Now that they've played that mighty Young trump card, what's next?
  • 28 (27) Cleveland (29 proof, 1-7) After firing GM, Mangini warns owner he might be next.
  • 29 (28) Tampa Bay (28 proof, 0-7) Why do we think they can beat Green Bay this week? Seriously, why?!
  • 30 (31) Washington (19 proof, 2-5) After years of running the team into the ground, it has finally occurred to Dan Snyder things aren't going well. Will ya cut this guy off already.
  • 31 (32) St. Louis (18 proof, 1-7) Into fourth day of 11-day drunk after winning Sunday.
  • 32 (29) Detroit (15 proof, 1-6) Ahh, home...
(*) -- denotes last week's ranking.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Maybe it's best you don't drink here



We try to run a respectable joint around here. Really.
But hold your nose and take a look at all the sorry teams that have stumbled toward the end of the NFL 100-proof rankings, and are already pulling on the rot gut this year.
For cripes sake, we count 11 of 'em!

Good golly, is Jeff Fisher's team really hanging with that gang? Is that John Fox's squad we see down there spilling all over itself? And isn't it a shame the younger Mora is taking after his under-achieving dad?
Hey, Wade, what are you doing down there?! Stay away from those boys, you'll get there soon enough.


Man, has there ever been this many down-and-outters drinking the loser's hooch so early in the season? Can anybody possibly make the case that any of these sorry suckers will pick themselves up off the floor and turn their fortunes around over the next three months?

Yeah...didn't think so.

Oh well, drink up, boys. It's gonna be a long season.

Prost!

THE STRONG STUFF
  • 1 (1) N.Y. Giants (99 proof, 4-0) These dudes are so reliable on the road they've ditched their AAA policy and that ridiculously expensive N.J. car insurance.
  • 2 (3) New Orleans (96 proof, 4-0) Get a week off and await the No. 1 road warriors, in what will be the Game of the Year, Part I of the 2009 season.
  • 3 (4) Indianapolis (95 proof, 4-0) OK, last week we mentioned that Peyton Manning is the best player in the NFL right now. Any questions?
  • 4 (5) Minnesota (92 proof, 4-0) Forget Brett Favre for a minute, PLEASE! If Minnesota makes a deep run this year, it will do so on the heels of its nasty defense.
  • 5 (8) New England (89 proof, 3-1) Like a good Scotch whiskey, this team perseveres.
  • 6 (2) Baltimore (88 proof, 3-1) Didn't see anything Sunday against the Patsies that has us believing any less in this team. Ray Rice is running toward stardom.
WORTH A SHOT
  • 7 (7) Philadelphia (85 proof, 2-1) Endured silly Week 4 bye laughing at rival Redskins as they almost choked against a Bucs team they will swallow whole on Sunday.
  • 8 (9) San Francisco (84 proof, 3-1) Rams are still picking themselves up off the field, after this angry bunch took out their frustrations on St. Losers following tough loss to Vikes.
  • 9 (16) Pittsburgh (82 proof, 2-2) OK, for the last time, we rank teams based on what they would do against another team on a neutral field. Think any squad below them beats the Steelers on that field? Didn't think so, Broncos fans.
  • 10 (11) Atlanta (81 proof, 2-1) Spent bye week making sure their fillings were tight for game of the day Sunday against Iron Mike's 49ers.
  • 11 (17) Denver (78 proof, 4-0) They aren't what their record says they are, but they are getting closer.
  • 12 (12) Chicago (75 proof, 3-1) Had their hands full at home against Lions for one half, but did what good teams do in the second half and pulled away.
  • 13 (6) N.Y. Jets (74 proof, 3-1) Sanchez might become a very good NFL QB, but he will be the reason Buddy boy's team doesn't go farther this year.
  • 14 (13) Cincinnati (71 proof, 3-1) Cincinnati has never, ever been good enough to play with the fire they have been playing with this year. Call the burn unit.
WATERED DOWN
  • 15 (10) San Diego (68 proof, 2-2) Norv is right, his team is overrated. And Norv knows overrated.
  • 16 (21) Jacksonville (65 proof, 2-2) The Jaguars are one of the few teams on the rise. Too bad their fans could care less.
  • 17 (22) Houston (62 proof, 2-2) Houston is one of many teams that takes an inconsistent approach to the season.
CHEAP STUFF
  • 18 (14) Dallas (59 proof, 2-2) Jerry Jones is the owner. Wade Phillips is the coach. Tony Romo is the QB. Nah, this sinking team doesn't need a general manager...
  • 19 (15) Green Bay (57 proof, 2-2) Yes, the offensive line is a complete embarrassment, but Rodgers holds the ball too long. What did all the 'experts' see in this team before the season?
  • 20 (20) Arizona (54 proof, 1-2) Took the bye week to decide whether to just quit, relax and enjoy the sun, or play on.
  • 21 (26) Miami (50 proof, 1-3) Season will be on the line when they host the Jets Monday night.
ROT GUT
  • 22 (27) Washington (36 proof, 2-2) It's so bad at this end of the bar that you get credit for beating the Bucs at home by 3.
  • 23 (24) Carolina (35 proof, 0-3) Took the bye week to give thanks that the Redskins come to town this Sunday.
  • 24 (19) Tennessee (33 proof, 0-4) Who are these guys?
  • 25 (18) Seattle (30 proof, 1-3) When he couldn't blame the kicker for the 34-3 mess his team found itself in last week, Mora resorted to blaming Holmgren for leaving him the mess.
  • 26 (23) Buffalo (28 proof, 1-3) Speaking of coaches...If the fumbling Dick Jauron somehow survives the season, he gets a leading role in "The Untouchables..."
  • 27 (25) Detroit 27 proof, 1-3) Played six straight quarters of good football before becoming the Lions again.
  • 28 (32) Cleveland (26 proof, 0-4) They didn't quit Sunday. That's the best we can say.
  • 29 (31) Tampa Bay (25 proof, 0-4) Had the Redskins on the ropes, but those Washington guys are slippery.
  • 30 (29) Oakland (20 proof, 1-3) Visit the No. 1 Giants Sunday. The spread is still rising.
  • 31 (28) Kansas City (18 proof, 0-4) Hope is on the way. The Cowboys come to town.
  • 32 (30) St. Louis (15 proof, 0-4) At least if Limbaugh buys the team something will go right.
(*) -- denotes last week's ranking.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Some Giant Thanks and Steel resolve


We're fully expecting a rowdy crowd around the Grill Room this week because we've put the 1-1 Steelers in the No. 2 position in the NFL 100-proof rankings.

But before you start any trouble and get bounced from the joint, shut up and listen:
First, we don't genuflect to upstart squads like so many of the knuckleheads that put together their weekly rankings.
Yeah, the Jets are a surprising 2-0, but with a rookie QB at the helm, and a coach whose mouth attracts flies and more and more enemies each week, it is hard to see them beating any of the teams ranked above them if matched in, say, Omaha or something.

And that last part's key, pally. Our bartenders base their rankings on what a team would do when matched up against any other team that Sunday on a neutral field.

So, big shot, how much would you bet right now against the Steelers if they took on any of the other teams below them on that Omaha field? Come on, how much? Think Baltimore'd take 'em? Do you really have that much confidence yet in the Saints? How 'bout the Colts? The Jets...?!

Yeah, thought so. Not talking so big now, are ya?

Look, somebody's gotta make the tough calls and rein in all the insanity among the so-called NFL prognosticators out there. It ain't easy being us.

But, hey, fagedaboudit, we're all friends here, right?

Prost!

THE STRONG STUFF
  • 1 (3) N.Y. Giants (98 proof, 2-0) The Giants' version of "Shock and awwwwwww..." did more to restore our faith in America than Obama after Eli's aerial bombardment of Jerry's Evil Empire on national TV.
  • 2 (1) Pittsburgh (95 proof, 1-1) Once more: Yes, they have a loss; yes, many other teams don't; no, none of them beat Pittsburgh on a neutral field.
  • 3 (13) Baltimore (94 proof, 2-0) OK, we're sold.
  • 4 (11) New Orleans (93 proof, 2-0) Still wonder how "The Most Offensive Show on Earth" plays when football weather comes blowing in, but walloping Philadelphia, 48-22, at The Stink any time of year is mighty strong.
WORTH A SHOT
  • 5 (7) Indianapolis (89 proof, 2-0) The elder Manning and his Colts perform a mathematical miracle, and throw conventional wisdom for a loss when they beat Miami by running only 35 plays to the Dolphins' 84, and hold the ball for 14:53 to the Dolphins' 45:07.
  • 6 (10) Atlanta (88 proof, 2-0) We're not seeing any holes in this squad. However, they'll be carded at the door Sunday when they visit New England to see if they are legitimate.
  • 7 (8) Minnesota (87 proof, 2-0) Enthusiasm should be curbed a bit with wins over awful Cleveland and Detroit. Let's see how they handle the punch in the mouth they're sure to get when Singletary's roughnecks come calling Sunday.
  • 8 (16) N.Y. Jets (85 proof, 2-0) Backed up trash talk with a demon-exorcising win over the hated Patsies. But how long can this rowdy group back up Buddy boy's big mouth? A desperate Titans squad comes knocking with brass knuckles Sunday...
  • 9 (2) Philadelphia (84 proof, 1-1) That didn't take long...A week after the GR warned Coach Reid about running it up on a thoroughly beaten opponent, the Saints came marching into Philly to beat some manners into him.
  • 10 (4) New England (83 proof, 1-1) If Belichick can round this no-name group into form by season's end, Lombardi's got nothing on him. Brady or no Brady, this squad's in trouble.
  • 11 (5) San Diego (82 proof, 1-1) Norv finally calls a running play and Ray Lewis swallows it whole. Huge play by great player against average coach.
  • 12 (14) San Francisco (80 proof, 2-0) Coach Mike and his rough-and-ready 49ers are welcome at the Grill Room anytime. Seattle's still picking up pieces of itself off the turf of Monster Park.
WATERED DOWN
  • 13 (15) Chicago (78 proof, 1-1) Grudging kudos to QB Cutler, who grudgingly took what the Steelers gave him. Nobody was a bigger giver than Steeler kicker Jeff Reed, though.
  • 14 (9) Dallas (74 proof, 1-1) So Cowboys' fans, whataya think of Romo and your nose-drilling owner now?
  • 15 (18) Arizona (72 proof, 1-1) A game plan's goal which was to keep QB Warner alive for another week by chucking it quick resulted in a statistical thing of beauty. Yes, 24-of-26 is mighty spiffy, but the longest completion went for 22 yards.
CHEAP STUFF
  • 16 (26) Houston (70 proof, 1-1) Took this squad one week to renew our faith in 'em. Stood in for 60 minutes against a tough-as-nails Titans' squad on the road.
  • 17 (23) Cincinnati (69 proof, 1-1) Another squad that went a long way in restoring our belief in 'em around here after big road win in Green Bay.
  • 18 (12) Green Bay (67 proof, 1-1) This is one team we've been right about from the start. In the land of cheese, Swiss won't cut it for an offensive line.
  • 19 (6) Tennessee (65 proof, 0-2) Far too early for a team of this caliber to be put in a desperate situation. But desperate is what they are heading to N.J. to take on Buddy boy's big-talking Jets.
  • 20 (19) Washington (62 proof, 1-1) We repeat: The Redskins are what we thought they were, and QB Campbell is who the 'Skins thought he was when they tried to trade for a QB this year.
  • 21 (21) Denver (58 proof, 2-0) The consolation prize for being the worst 2-0 team in football is being moved off the 'Rot Gut' shelf in the GR.
ROT GUT
  • 22 (17) Seattle (55 proof, 1-1) Matt Hasselbeck's hurt again, and Chicago's coming to town. Oh-oh...
  • 23 (22) Buffalo (54 proof, 1-1) Bills are praying for Buffalo weather when Saints march in Sunday.
  • 24 (27) Miami (51 proof, 0-2) Never has a team done so much to lose by so little. Loss to Colts will haunt them for rest of the year.
  • 25 (25) Carolina (48 proof, 0-2) Panthers get a chance to finish off Jerry, and restore hope with a win Monday night.
  • 26 (24) Oakland (42 proof, 1-1) Stealing is one way to get wins...
  • 27 (29) Kansas City (40 proof, 0-2) ...when you are playing a team so intent on throwing the game away.
  • 28 (28) Tampa Bay (36 proof, 0-2) It gets worse, No. 1 Giants come visiting Sunday.
  • 29 (31) St. Louis (33 proof, 0-2) Seven points in two games for Rams.
  • 30 (20) Jacksonville (32 proof, 0-2) How can you start so poorly in home-opener?
  • 31 (30) Cleveland (31 proof, 0-2) Cancel this story about a man named Brady.
  • 32 (32) Detroit (25 proof, 0-2) Thankfully, a TV blackout looms Sunday for Lions' fans.
(*) -- denotes last week's ranking.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Eli says "I'm finished!" after crashing Jones' party


Conventional thinking got thrown for a loss around the NFL on Sunday when five of the top six teams in the Grill Room's NFL 100-PROOF RANKINGS went down in flames.

No matter, all that's true and blue about America still stands today after the N.Y. Football Giants went deep in the heart of Texas to christen Jerry Jones' billion-dollar death star by presenting him his fat head on a silver platter.


Giants' quarterback Eli Manning (330 yds, 2 TDs) got revenge against greedy oilmen for Eli's everywhere when he engineered a last-minute drive that resulted in Lawrence Tynes' game-winning, 37-yard FG as the clock expired.

After their 33-31 victory, the No. 3 Giants' were the only top team to survive an unpredictable day around the NFL.

With so much to chew on, we once again offer up platters of bountiful opinion from sports writers and columnists in every NFL city.

If you want baloney and cheese, turn on ESPN and skedaddle. But if you're brave enough to read the writing on the wall, pull up a chair and dig in, while we crack open the morning paper.


I
n the Grill Room, we still love the newspaper business, even if it hates itself.

TODAY'S MENU:

(3) N.Y. Giants 33
(9) Dallas 31
(16) N.Y. Jets 16
(4) New England 9 (10) Atlanta 28
(25) Carolina 20
(23) Cincinnati 31
(12) Green Bay 24 (26) Houston 34
(6) Tennessee 31 (8) Minnesota 27
(32) Detroit 13 (18) Arizona 31
(20) Jacksonville 17 (11) New Orleans 48
(2) Philadelphia 22 (24) Oakland 13
(29) Kansas City 10 (19) Washington 9
(31) St. Louis 7 (22) Buffalo 33
(28) Tampa Bay 20 (14) San Francisco 23
(17) Seattle 10 (15) Chicago 17
(1) Pittsburgh 14
(13) Baltimore 31
(5) San Diego 26 (21) Denver 27
(30) Cleveland 6
(*) Denotes the Grill Room's NFL 100-PROOF RANKING
(Star-Telegram photo)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

It's Pittsburgh with a Philly chaser



After clearing the joint last night, our bartenders knocked back the good hooch and set about putting together our inaugural NFL 100-PROOF RANKINGS.

Why bartenders, you ask? Because in all of your life, and all the people you've ever known, have any of them, even once, made more sense than a bartender?

Prost!

THE STRONG STUFF
  • 1) Pittsburgh (100 proof) The Grill Room subscribes to the thinking that the champ is the champ until proven otherwise. Plus, Pittsburgh runs the best organization in football.
  • 2) Philadelphia (94 proof) This is a nasty team, and the controversial Vick signing signals that they are all-in this year for a title. Better be, because the window's closing fast.
  • 3) N.Y. Giants (93 proof) Who does Eli Manning throw to? Otherwise, the best combined O- and D-lines in football keep the Giants in the hunt for the promised land.
  • 4) New England (91 proof) Were No. 2 until dumping Seymour. Know Belichick's a genius and all, but hard to see how giving up your best defensive player makes any sense.
  • 5) San Diego (90 proof) Despite coach Norv Turner, but because the Chargers are loaded on both sides of the ball. Need to stay away from Tequila, though.
WORTH A SHOT
  • 6) Indianapolis (83 proof) Big falloff between No. 5 and 6, but Manning's still around, and the schedule is reasonable. Even catch their nemesis Patsies at home this year.
  • 7) Tennessee (82 proof) Because Jeff Fisher is the GR's favorite coach. The dude gets every bit of talent out of his hard-nosed squad year in and year out. How long can Collins keep chucking it, though?
  • 8) Minnesota (80 proof) We're buying this team's chances. All Favre has to do is make a couple of big plays each game and hand the ball to his magnificent RBs. The defense is mean.
  • 9) Dallas (77 proof) You either like the Cowboys or you hate them. We hate them in the GR. Maybe in a year when nobody is licking their boots, the 'boys can step up and actually do something?
  • 10) Arizona (74 proof) Because the GR subscribes to the thinking that the Super Bowl loser has to be in the Top 10 until proven otherwise. How long can Warner go on?
  • 11) Atlanta (72 proof) Another squad we're buying. The Gonzalez pickup made too much sense. Coach Smith also seems to be the real deal.
WATERED DOWN
  • 12) Houston (69 proof) If the season ended now, they'd be in the playoffs with this ranking. Schaub must somehow stay healthy, though.
  • 13) New Orleans (68 proof) This team reminds us a lot of the Chargers in the 80s. All O and no D. But, dang, they got plenty of O, and the best QB in the conference.
  • 14) Chicago (66 proof) The bouncers at the GR would run Cutler and his big mouth in a minute. Let's see what happens if he struggles early and has some real press to deal with.
  • 15) Carolina (64 proof) Not sure why we are showing so little love for this squad. Call it bartender's instinct. Delhomme just seems finished to us.
  • 16) Green Bay (62 proof) Suddenly every one's designer pick. If defensive wizard Dom Capers can work his magic with this defense, we'll get on board with the hype. Until and if...
  • 17) Cincinnati (59 proof) Yeah, a bit of surprise but if QB Palmer's back and healthy, and if the 12th-ranked defense from a year ago keeps stepping up, this team could surprise. Shut up, Chad.
CHEAP STUFF
  • 18) Baltimore (58 proof) LB Scott, gone. WR Mason, gone. D-Coach Ryan, gone. Playoff chances, gone.
  • 19) Washington (56 proof) Too bad they play in the toughest division in football. Too bad Dan Snyder's their owner.
  • 20) San Francisco (54 proof) We like Mike in the GR. Coach Singletary will have this squad playing hard...or else.
ROT GUT
  • 21) Miami
  • 22) Seattle
  • 23) N.Y. Jets
  • 24) Buffalo
  • 25) Jacksonville
  • 26) Oakland
  • 27) St. Louis
  • 28) Denver
  • 29) Tampa Bay
  • 30) Cleveland
  • 31) Kansas City
  • 32) Detroit