Willkommen to the Stammtisch, Brett!

While the Grill Room caters to mostly an American audience, we do follow certain German traditions around this joint -- besides serving the best beer in the world.

Recently, we had the idea to move around the tables with the aim of positioning one in the finest location in the place. So, after a little work, we now have our Stammtisch. It is right next to the fireplace, has unfettered access to the bar, and offers a picturesque view of the storybook German countryside on the left and our 120-inch, big-screen TV on the right.

Of course, the Stammtisch is reserved for only our finest customers, and able consumers of our strong stuff.
In the last couple of weeks, that table's been a bit quiet, even if New Orleans' Bourbon Street contingent have been regulars.

Well, this week we've invited Brett Favre's Vikings up to join the Saints and Peyton Manning's all-too-polite Colts at our Stammtisch. What they accomplished in Green Bay last Sunday was mighty strong.

The table's plenty exclusive, but it's also plenty big, so we've extended an invitation to the defending champion Steelers to gather 'round next week, but only if they go to Denver and beat the Broncos Monday night. With incentive like that, how can they lose?

The gang around the Stammtisch will be watching.


THE STRONG STUFF

• 1 (1) New Orleans (99 proof, 7-0) With Carolina, St. Louis and Tampa Bay coming up, Saints won't play their next NFL game until the Patsies come calling on Nov. 30.
  
• 2 (2) Indianapolis (95 proof, 7-0) With Manning completely ineffective (31-48, 347 yds., 0 TDs), Colts had to go to RB Addai to throw clinching TD against 49ers.
• 3 (4) Minnesota (91 proof, 7-1) Favre and Peterson get the headlines, but Percy Harvin is the story.

WORTH A SHOT

• 4 (3) Pittsburgh (87 proof, 5-2) Ready to head to Denver Monday night to finish what Ravens started last Sunday.
  
• 5 (5) New England (85 proof, 5-2) After bye week spent in Florida with wife Gisele Bundchen, Tom Brady says his body feels great. And this is news...
  
• 6 (7) Philadelphia (84 proof, 5-2) Used scrimmage against Giants to prepare for confident Cowboys this Sunday.
• 7 (9) Baltimore (82 proof, 4-3) Put Denver in its proper place, and is fixin' to do the same with Cincy.
• 8 (10) Cincinnati (79 proof, 5-2) Used bye week to make sure all their fillings were properly glued in place with rock-'em, sock-'em Ravens coming to town for revenge.
• 9 (6) Denver (78 proof, 6-1) Took 'em eight weeks, but they are what we thought they were. OK, maybe they're just a little better...
• 10 (15) Dallas (77 proof, 5-2) Well, well, it's about time the Cowboys started their rise. Otherwise, how can they fall?
• 11 (13) Houston (76 proof, 5-3) Loss of TE Daniels, is a mighty downer to a team on the way up.
• 12 (11) Atlanta (74 proof, 4-3) After tough loss to Saints, Falcons will benefit from Obama's NFL bailout plan when they host his team on Sunday.

WATERED DOWN

• 13 (18) Chicago (66 proof, 4-3) This team has 9-7 written all over it.
• 14 (8) Arizona (65 proof, 4-3) Speaking of having 9-7 written all over it...
  
• 15 (16) San Diego (63 proof, 4-3) Had to play a full 60 minutes to put away awful Raiders. Lucky for them, they might need only half that to put away Giants Sunday.
• 16 (14) Green Bay (61 proof, 4-3) Rodgers holds the ball for 10 seconds in the pocket and O-Line gets rapped. Nice...
  
• 17 (12) N.Y. Giants (60 proof, 5-3) Defensive coach Sheridan vows to finally make an adjustment Sunday when he crosses his arms the other way on the sidelines.
• 18 (17) San Francisco (58 proof, 3-4) Just what Tennessee needs, an angry 49ers team at home this Sunday.
• 19 (19) Miami (57 proof, 3-4) Finally figured the best way to get the ball in Ted Ginn's hands -- don't throw it to him.

CHEAP STUFF

• 20 (20) N.Y. Jets (56 proof, 4-4) Buddy boy's Jets will spend bye week talking big to themselves, because frankly, nobody else is listening anymore.
  
• 21 (24) Carolina (55 proof, 3-4) Big win in Arizona Sunday, but Coach Fox won't last long holding his breath every time Delhomme drops back to pass -- even if it was only 14 times.
  

ROT GUT

• 22 (21) Jacksonville (50 proof, 3-4) Enough of this team already.
• 23 (23) Seattle (47 proof, 2-5) Just dumped Edgerrin James. There! That will fix it!
  
• 24 (22) Buffalo (45 proof, 3-5) The exciting Dick Jauron is heading to Norton, Kan., during the bye week, to kick seriously tail in a bingo tournament.
• 25 (25) Kansas City (39 proof, 1-6) Had a bye week Sunday and nobody noticed.
• 26 (26) Oakland (37 proof, 2-5) Coach Cable will join Jauron in Norton to make sure those blue-hairs pay up -- or else.
• 27 (30) Tennessee (30 proof, 1-6) Now that they've played that mighty Young trump card, what's next?
  
• 28 (27) Cleveland (29 proof, 1-7) After firing GM, Mangini warns owner he might be next.
• 29 (28) Tampa Bay (28 proof, 0-7) Why do we think they can beat Green Bay this week? Seriously, why?!
• 30 (31) Washington (19 proof, 2-5) After years of running the team into the ground, it has finally occurred to Dan Snyder things aren't going well. Will ya cut this guy off already.
  
• 31 (32) St. Louis (18 proof, 1-7) Into fourth day of 11-day drunk after winning Sunday.
• 32 (29) Detroit (15 proof, 1-6) Ahh, home...

(*) -- denotes last week's ranking.

Packer fans in purple haze

Justice can be hard to find in this cruel world, especially if you are digging around NFL stadiums on a Sunday afternoon.
Just ask any virtuous Green Bay fan who crowded into hallowed Lambeau Field yesterday.

When Brett Favre started his interesting road to retirement two seasons ago, he broke the hearts of Packer-backers everywhere. But he was certainly forgiven.
When he exited that road and landed as the quarterback of the hated Vikings this past summer, he did the unforgivable.

So there would be hell to pay, that was all there was to it.

The Packer Nation circled the date on their calendars when their once-favorite son would return, and then gathered 'round to bear witness to his beating.

Of course, they are still waiting.

With the Green Bay faithful expecting their team to dole out justice, Favre instead showed no conscience and delivered rockets to wide-open Vikings all over the joint. While the Green Bay faithful waited for quarterback Aaron Rodgers to take his place as the second-coming, the Viking defense showed no mercy and unceremoniously planted him in the Lambeau sod.

When it was finally over, the scoreboard read: Vikings 38, Green Bay 26.

If the disillusioned Green Bay fans learned anything at all yesterday, it's this: If you are looking for justice you'd best try a court, because in the NFL, baby, might still makes right.


Now onto a sampling of what the nation's sportswriters and columnists are saying about their football teams across every NFL city, because in the Grill Room we love the newspaper business, even if it hates itself.


(4) Minnesota 38
(14) Green Bay 26

• Gambling Vikings now running the table thanks to draft picks.
• Packers can't corral Favre, and that takes talent.

(9) Baltimore 30
(6) Denver 7

• Ravens back where they belong by putting Broncos where they should be.
  
• Broncos forget to put on game-faces for Halloween.

(13) Houston 31
(22) Buffalo 10

• These Texans lasso victories not excuses.
• Bills offense is nothing to shout about.
  

(18) Chicago 30
(27) Cleveland 6

• Bears neither good nor bad against the ugly Browns.
• If anger were a tool maybe Browns could fix this mess.
  

(15) Dallas 38
(23) Seattle 17

• Cowboys season goes forward with a look back at Philly.
• After another frightful loss, Seattle goes mad.
  

(32) St. Louis 17
(29) Detroit 10

• Rams win! Enough said.
• Detroit reclaims title as biggest loser.
  

(2) Indianapolis 18
(17) San Francisco 14

• Addai, not Manning, throws 49ers for a loss.
• At least things are becoming clear under center for 49ers.
  

(7) Philadelphia 40
(12) N.Y. Giants 17

• Giants knocked cold thanks to all those punches the Eagles landed...
• ...and now this embarrassing team doesn't even remember what it used to be.
  

(19) Miami 30
(20) N.Y. Jets 25

• Dolphins hit Jets right where it hurts -- in their big mouths...
• ...while Ryan's big ego swallows all common sense.
  

(16) San Diego 24
(26) Oakland 16

• Chargers kill QB, then time, and hold on for win.
• Isn't it time Davis dumped his Cable?
  

(30) Tennessee 30
(21) Jacksonville 13

• With first win, Titans are finally feeling Young again.
• Jaguars still blowing hot and cold.
  

(24) Carolina 34
(8) Arizona 21

• Jake comes up with a game he can believe in.
• When did Cards' pass game become so offensive?
  

(*) denotes NFL 100-proof ranking

Favre returns, jury awaits

Even though Brett Favre's return to Green Bay Sunday mercifully puts an end to what seems like 107 weeks of uber-hype, aren't you at least a little curious to see how it all plays out?

Don't you wonder how the salt-of-the-earth folks in Wisconsin will treat the man they once crowned their prince and savior? Because for all the good Favre did in Green Bay during his 16-year reign, is it possible he undid all of it, with his embarrassing, stuttering departure two years ago?

Understand that Green Bay was an NFL wasteland after the glory days of Vince Lombardi in the '60s. Between 1969 and 1991 the Packers had exactly five winning seasons, and appeared in the playoffs only twice.

Really, growing up and watching the once-great team's demise was a crime -- even if you weren't an ardent Packer-backer. Green Bay was the iconic team during the NFL's sonic rise in the 1960s.

The Packers represented all that was good about the sport, what with Lombardi manning the sidelines in his grey trench coat and fedora, a quarterback named Starr in command under center, and a Golden Boy named Paul Hornung running in the wake of the vaunted Packers' sweep.

Of course, all of this took place on the hallowed frozen tundra of Lambeau Field, under the gaze of their hearty fans, who breathed steam from behind their woolen ski masks, while supporting their team through the ice and cold.

The team's protracted fall in the '70s and '80s was like an endless Wisconsin winter.

Then Brett Favre arrived on the scene in 1992, like some comet.
Green Bay promptly rolled to a 9-7 record that year, and was on its way to becoming one of the dominant teams of the '90s.

The Packers ascent back to the top of the football world was complete when they won Super Bowl XXXI over Bill Parcells' Patriots.
The team promptly returned to the big game the very next year, when John Elway's somersault finally eclipsed all of those Favre-led Lambeau leaps, and pretty much ended Green Bay's short-lived, but welcome dominance.

Really, credit for Green Bay's turnaround should probably go first to general manager Ron Wolf, who in 1992 had the good sense to hire Mike Holmgren to lead the team. Holmgren then had the good sense to acquire Favre to run his offense.
And all three of them had the good sense to lasso the menacing Minister of Defense, Reggie White, the very next year, to form the final cornerstone of their mini-dynasty.

But, make no mistake about it, Favre was the seminal figure in Green Bay during this period of prosperity. No. 4 brought Green Bay back from the depths and to their rightful place on top of the NFL's burgeoning landscape. He never missed a game under center, and never lost the importance of what it meant to be Title Town's chosen son.

And when he thought he just couldn't hold the throne any longer, tears were shed, and he stepped down.

Then he didn't, and that's when the trouble started.
Favre's well-chronicled transition out of Green Bay was neither quick, quiet, nor classy.

After a rotten year with the Jets, Favre did it again and retired. And then he undid it again this summer, when he decided to give it another try with Green Bay rival, Minnesota.

When Favre trots onto Lambeau Field in a Vikings jersey Sunday, we'll find out if his legacy in Green Bay has been damaged beyond repair.

It's only fair that the Green Bay faithful decide this. And hopefully once and for all.

Favre No. 5, followed by Big Bird

Remember the Sesame Street song, "One of these things is not like the other?"
OK, relax a little, eh? Yeah, we are using a Sesame Street song to make a point here. This is sports we're typing about, man, not astrophysics.

Anyway, Harris, the company behind all those polls, just released a list of the "Greatest Sports Stars of All Time."

Frankly, I have no real issues with nine out of the top 11. These things are subjective, but most of the important names are on there starting with Michael Jordan at No. 1.
His Airness is followed by Tiger Woods, Babe Ruth, Muhammad Ali, Brett Favre, Joe Montana, Wayne Gretzky, Peyton Manning, Ted Williams, and Hank Aaron and LeBron James, who tied for 10th.

Go ahead read over that again. -- Jordan, Woods, Ruth, Ali...Favre...

I know! Favre?! FAVRE?! Big Bird just passed out.

Again...Jordan, Woods, Ruth, Ali...Favre?! What are you frickin' kidding me?! This would be like rating the greatest presidents Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, Jefferson, W. Bush, Adams, Truman...

This falls somewhere in the territory between sad and pathetic to me, because it speaks to the intelligence of the 2,293 dolts that participated in this online poll. Americans might be political neanderthals, and are not the sharpest blades in the box when it comes to all things outside the scope of their porch, but they generally are on top of it when it comes to sports.

How in the world is Brett Favre the fifth greatest at anything?! He's not even the fifth greatest football player of all time, much less all-time sports star, for crying out loud!

This survey, conducted over the course of one week in early October, also breaks down the greatest players in each individual sport.
Favre is the No. 1 football player followed by Jim Brown, Joe Montana, Walter Payton and Jerry Rice. Again, no arguing with the other four, though how Johnny Unitas didn't crack the top 5 is beyond me. It's also pretty bizarre that no defensive players rate top-5 status. Was there ever a better football player than Lawrence Taylor?

But back to our dull point...
Brett Favre is a talented, entertaining player, no doubt. Frankly, the guy has made some of the greatest plays I have ever seen on the football field, but he has also made some incredibly boneheaded plays, mostly because he too often throws into coverage.
He also has exactly one Super Bowl victory to his credit, so it's not as if these voters were able to make the case that he was a great winner in casting their ridiculous vote.

Montana, Unitas, Manning, and Dan Marino were/are hands down better quarterbacks than Favre ever was. I'd also gladly make the case for Tom Brady and Dan Fouts.

Further, Brett Favre has arguably never even been the greatest current quarterback at any point of his career. John Elway, and Steve Young were also chucking the ball during the height of Favre's NFL powers. You'd get no argument from me if you made the case that either of those guys were better than Favre.

No, any way you cut it, this one is a real head-scratcher.

It is clear that Favre's on-again, off-again retirement plans have not affected his legacy in a negative fashion, which is a surprise unto itself.

What's that saying about bad publicity being better than no publicity at all?
Who knows, maybe there's hope for W. yet? Nah...

Saints and Colts sipping success

As we head to the midpoint of the season, only two teams have proven themselves worthy of the Grill Room's best hooch.

But, my, aren't Indianapolis and New Orleans two very different customers!

The Saints? Well, they bust through the double-doors and act like they own the joint. Sure, this gregarious group takes some getting used to, and can get full-blown overbearing at times. Thing is, we notice nobody has the stones to throw down on 'em.
In fact, by night's end, people are actually buying THEM drinks! Did you see how generous those Dolphins were Sunday?!
Yeah, it's hard not to like these hard-drinking, hard-playing swashbucklers from Bourbon Street.

The Colts, on the other hand, are far more refined. They will politely engage the clientele in conversion, order a bottle of the good stuff, and tip like kings.
They always make the gentleman's play, and inevitably end up with the best-looking babes on their arms.
We also notice that after about 60 minutes with this good-lookin' crew, our lesser customers generally slink away from the bar feeling completely inadequate.

Yep, the Colts and Saints form quite the odd couple, but they are welcome in this joint anytime.

Prost, fellas!

THE STRONG STUFF

• 1 (1) New Orleans (99 proof, 6-0) Water boy stomped off in a huff when Brees didn't throw him a TD pass for the second straight week.
  
• 2 (2) Indianapolis (97 proof, 6-0) This club is the reason a half-cocked sportswriter at some point was the first to call a team, 'a well-oiled machine.'
  

WORTH A SHOT

• 3 (7) Pittsburgh (87 proof, 5-2) When you have play-makers on both sides of the ball you can overcome the occasional sloppy play.
  
• 4 (3) Minnesota (86 proof, 6-1) It's clear Favre had every intention of staying healthy enough to face Green Bay on Sunday. Did you see his duck-and-cover routine on Pittsburgh's two defensive scores in the 4th quarter?!
  
• 5 (8) New England (85 proof, 5-2) Get to enjoy their third straight bye week at home.
• 6 (4) Denver (84 proof, 6-0) Dropped two places during their week off, because the more you consider this team, the more it makes no sense.
• 7 (10) Philadelphia (83 proof, 4-2) Toyed with the Redskins and can take charge of the division with a win over the stumbling Giants Sunday.
• 8 (11) Arizona (82 proof, 4-2) This team is learning to play some good, hard-nosed defense, but will have to run the ball better to get back to the promised land.
  
• 9 (9) Baltimore (81 proof, 3-3) Anybody doubt they will beat Denver Sunday?
• 10 (15) Cincinnati (79 proof, 5-2) What we said last week: We'll predict for no good reason at all that the Bengals will shut down Cutler and the Bears Sunday. Actually they humiliated them.
  
• 11 (5) Atlanta (78 proof, 4-2) For a team that looks so complete, they obviously have holes. But where are they?
• 12 (6) N.Y. Giants (77 proof, 5-2) When the Saints and Cardinals stood right next to them, they found out these guys weren't Giants at all.
• 13 (14) Houston (75 proof, 4-3) Now that they are finally above .500, will they be afraid of heights?
• 14 (17) Green Bay (73 proof, 4-2) Have you heard? Brett Favre returns Sunday.
• 15 (18) Dallas (71 proof, 4-2) So the 'Boys have a new receiver who is Miles batter than T.O. Let the hype begin!
  

WATERED DOWN

• 16 (19) San Diego (68 proof, 3-3) We said it last week and we'll say it again: What an annoying team.
• 17 (13) San Francisco (65 proof, 3-3) If they don't want to be humiliated, better play two solid halves of football this weekend at Indianapolis -- and start Smith in both of them.
  
• 18 (12) Chicago (62 proof, 3-3) Jay Cutler equals Jeff George.

CHEAP STUFF

• 19 (16) Miami (60 proof, 2-4) Had the wounded Saints right where they wanted them, and then took their foot off their throat. These ain't your daddy's Saints.
  
• 20 (20) N.Y. Jets (59 proof, 4-3) Let me get this straight: Coach Buddy's Boy weighs in at well over 600 pounds, and has a problem with Sanchez eating a hot dog?!
  
• 21 (21) Jacksonville (55 proof, 3-3) Coming off a bye to play 0-6 Titans, who also had a bye. If they aren't careful in Nashville Sunday, it could be bye-bye to the Jaguars this year.

ROT GUT

• 22 (23) Buffalo (49 proof, 3-4) Moving around these rot-gut teams is like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Buffalo is sinking more slowly -- for now.
• 23 (23) Seattle (47 proof, 2-4) Head to Dallas Sunday, where they will get a chance to read the 671st story about Miles Austin.
  
• 24 (22) Carolina (43 proof, 2-4) The NFC's version of the Tennessee Titans.
  
• 25 (25) Kansas City (39 proof, 1-6) Kansas City Star columnist Jason Whitlock just dropped a 500-pound verb on top of Coach Haley.
• 26 (26) Oakland (37 proof, 2-4) That this team has somehow managed two wins is pure silver-and-black magic.
• 27 (27) Cleveland (30 proof, 1-6) Mangini should be lucky Whitlock doesn't cover his team.
• 28 (28) Tampa Bay (28 proof, 0-7) Look at their schedule and tell me where a win comes from.
  
• 29 (29) Detroit (27 proof, 1-5) Do you really think Detroit is going to let St. Louis come into their home and abuse them Sunday? Huh?! Do you?! Yeah, we're not sure either...
• 30 (30) Tennessee (22 proof, 0-6) Coach Fisher is back to wearing a Titans jersey so he can feel what it's like to be a loser again.
• 31 (31) Washington (19 proof, 2-5) Dan Snyder has consented to pay to get Jim Zorn's stiff upper lip repaired.
  
• 32 (32) St. Louis (15 proof, 0-7) A loss to Lions Sunday gives them a clear shot to become NFL's all-time worst team.

(*) -- denotes last week's ranking.

Eli says "I'm finished!" after crashing Jones' party

Conventional thinking got thrown for a loss around the NFL on Sunday when five of the top six teams in the Grill Room's NFL 100-PROOF RANKINGS went down in flames.

No matter, all that's true and blue about America still stands today after the N.Y. Football Giants went deep in the heart of Texas to christen Jerry Jones' billion-dollar death star by presenting him his fat head on a silver platter.

Giants' quarterback Eli Manning (330 yds, 2 TDs) got revenge against greedy oilmen for Eli's everywhere when he engineered a last-minute drive that resulted in Lawrence Tynes' game-winning, 37-yard FG as the clock expired.

After their 33-31 victory, the No. 3 Giants' were the only top team to survive an unpredictable day around the NFL.

With so much to chew on, we once again offer up platters of bountiful opinion from sports writers and columnists in every NFL city.

If you want baloney and cheese, turn on ESPN and skedaddle. But if you're brave enough to read the writing on the wall, pull up a chair and dig in, while we crack open the morning paper.

In the Grill Room, we still love the newspaper business, even if it hates itself.

TODAY'S MENU:

(3) N.Y. Giants 33
(9) Dallas 31

• Even Jones' billions can't buy a team that shoots straight...
• ...and the owner probably should choose his guests more wisely.
  

(16) N.Y. Jets 16
(4) New England 9

• Last week the Jets did the talking. On Sunday they did the walking -- all over the Patsies.
• The Patriots are what they are: in trouble.
  

(10) Atlanta 28
(25) Carolina 20

• The high-flying Falcons still have everything to prove -- to themselves.
• Panthers now counting consolation prizes, not wins.
  

(23) Cincinnati 31
(12) Green Bay 24

• Cincinnati took off the kid gloves Sunday, and played like a bunch of grown-ups.
• Maybe the Packers should push the panic button...if they can find it.

(26) Houston 34
(6) Tennessee 31

• A Texas-sized question: Who are these guys, anyway?
• Titans players bump into each other while trying escape that dark cloud.

(8) Minnesota 27
(32) Detroit 13

• Favre only too happy to hand the ball and spotlight to Peterson.
• Rookie Stafford only too happy to throw the ball to the opponent.

(18) Arizona 31
(20) Jacksonville 17

• The Cardinals felt the heat and frolicked in the Sunshine State.
• Local fans can be thankful they were left in the dark.

(11) New Orleans 48
(2) Philadelphia 22

• Saints' decision to play smart knocked Philly senseless.
• Don't put the blame on QB Kolb, as Eagle defense rests.

(24) Oakland 13
(29) Kansas City 10

• For Raiders, winning ugly sure beats the putrid losses of the past.
• Incompetent Chiefs' coach should fire himself.

(19) Washington 9
(31) St. Louis 7

• Zorn's allergy to the end zone could be a real career-killer.
• Rams' growing pains start in the brain.

(22) Buffalo 33
(28) Tampa Bay 20

• The Bills finally ordered up some home cooking and it only cost them a few Bucs.
• No telling where Tampa Bay might cash its first win.

(14) San Francisco 23
(17) Seattle 10

• San Francisco gets defensive with ID check.
• These birds continue to drop like flies.

(15) Chicago 17
(1) Pittsburgh 14

• This version of Cutler so much easier to Bear.
• Steelers kicking themselves after latest Chicago disaster.

(13) Baltimore 31
(5) San Diego 26

• The Ravens have a secondary concern after short-circuiting Bolts.
• San Diego pays the price for going in the red.

(21) Denver 27
(30) Cleveland 6

• Broncos' defensive line comes up big -- and short.
• Browns' demise is the story of a man named Brady.

(*) Denotes the Grill Room's NFL 100-PROOF RANKING
(Star-Telegram photo)

Picks, Peterson, Pfungstadter and Polamalu

It's Football Friday in the Grill Room, but we're still cleaning up around here following this morning's dandy of an NFL season-opener.

It wasn't always pretty, but the Pittsburgh Steelers, rated No. 1 in the Grill Room's NFL 100- PROOF RANKINGS, knocked off the No. 7 Tennessee Titans, 13-10, in overtime.

It seems the only folks around these parts that weren't ready for some football were the Polizei. They'll tell you they'd rather face the Russians in winter than deal with a drunken, raucous, mostly American football crowd at 5 in the morning.

We were able to buy happiness for our neu gut freunds when we properly bribed Captain Heinrich and his gang with an all-the-Pfungstadter-they-can-drink-for-free offer. And let's get this out of the way now: Pfungstadter is the official bier of the GR.

Before setting the tables in the joint for this weekend's action, and rousting the good captain from his bier-induced coma, a quick assessment of this morning's opener brought to you by folks we mostly trust:

• CNN/SI's Don Banks tells us it's Big Ben's team this year.
• Chuck Finder leads his comprehensive notebook in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette with the latest word on all-world saftey Troy Polamalu's knee injury.
  
• Jim Wyatt of the once-great Tennessean says the Titans have themselves to blame for this morning's loss in his excellent write-up.
  

Take your pick
For informational purposes only...some picks for Week 1 action around the NFL brought to you by gangs who most likely know as much about the game as you do:
ESPN
YAHOO!
CBS Sports
FOX
bleacher report
CNN/SI

And some picks on the college football side:
CBS Sports
Sporting News

This Week's Grill Room NFL 100-PROOF lock: Minnesota over Cleveland minus-3.5.
Cleveland is a team in disarray and No. 8 Minnesota wants to show it is ready to seriously challenge for a title this year. Forget all this talk about Brett Favre and Brady Quinn. The game will be settled on the sod. The Browns ranked 28th against the run last year while the Vikings featuring Adrian Peterson (photo above) ranked fifth. Look for the Vikes to pound away on the Browns all day and leave town with a 27-13 win.

Tape it up
Apparently the No. 2 Eagles have decided to list their whole squad on the latest NFL injury report, while the New York Post's Mike Puma tells us the Jets will likely be fined big for not listing Brett Favre on last year's report.

TV Time
If you can't stop by the Grill Room, here's the college and pro football fare that's cooking on the tube this weekend:
(For our U.S. military viewers and their families overseas the games American Forces Network will be showing are in bold.)

COLLEGE:

Friday, Sept. 11
Colorado at Toledo, 9 p.m., ESPN
Saturday, Sept. 12
Fresno State at Wisconsin, Noon, ESPN
Central Michigan at Michigan State, Noon, ESPN2
Eastern Michigan at Northwestern, Noon, Big Ten Network
Iowa at Iowa State, Noon, FSN
Syracuse at Penn State, Noon, Big Ten Network
Western Michigan at Indiana, Noon, Big Ten Network
North Carolina at Connecticut, Noon, ESPNU
Duke at Army, Noon, ESPN Classic
Troy at Florida, 12:21 p.m., SEC Network
Notre Dame at Michigan, 3:30 p.m., ABC
BYU at Tulane, 3:30, ESPN2
Houston at Oklahoma State, 3:30 p.m., FSN
Louisiana Tech at Navy, 3:30 p.m., CBS CSN
TCU at Virginia, 3:30 p.m., ESPNU
Texas at Wyoming, 3:30 p.m., Versus
UCLA at Tennessee, 4 p.m., ESPN
South Carolina at Georgia, 7 p.m. ESPN2
Vanderbilt at LSU, 7 p.m., ESPNU
Air Force at Minnesota, 7 p.m., Big Ten Network
Illinois State at Illinois, 7 p.m., Big Ten Network
Kansas at UTEP, 7:30 p.m., CBS CSN
Tulsa at New Mexico, 8 p.m., Mtn.
USC at Ohio State, 8 p.m., ESPN
Purdue at Oregon, 10:15 p.m., FSN
Utah at San Jose State, 10:30, ESPNU
Oregon State at UNLV, 11 p.m., CBS CSN

NFL:

Sunday, Sept. 13
Miami at Atlanta 1 p.m., FOX
Kansas City at Baltimore 1 p.m., CBS
Philadelphia at Carolina 1 p.m., FOX
Denver at Cincinnati 1 p.m., CBS
Minnesota at Cleveland 1 p.m., FOX
N.Y. Jets at Houston 1 p.m., CBS
Jacksonville at Indianapolis 1 p.m., CBS
Detroit at New Orleans 1 p.m., FOX
Dallas at Tampa Bay 1 p.m., FOX
San Francisco at Arizona 4:15 p.m., FOX
Washington at N.Y. Giants 4:15 p.m., FOX
St. Louis at Seattle 4:15 p.m., FOX
Chicago at Green Bay 8:20 p.m., NBC

Monday, Sept. 14
Buffalo at New England 7 p.m., ESPN
San Diego at Oakland 10:15 p.m., ESPN
(All times EST)

• And finally...a wish on this the eighth anniversary of 9/11: May bin Laden's cave burn long enough to give the NYC Firefighters a chance to put it out. The staff at the Grill Room will never forget.

(Associated Press photo)