As we head to the midpoint of the season, only two teams have proven themselves worthy of the Grill Room's best hooch.
But, my, aren't Indianapolis and New Orleans two very different customers!
The Saints? Well, they bust through the double-doors and act like they own the joint. Sure, this gregarious group takes some getting used to, and can get full-blown overbearing at times. Thing is, we notice nobody has the stones to throw down on 'em. In fact, by night's end, people are actually buying THEM drinks! Did you see how generous those Dolphins were Sunday?! Yeah, it's hard not to like these hard-drinking, hard-playing swashbucklers from Bourbon Street.
The Colts, on the other hand, are far more refined. They will politely engage the clientele in conversion, order a bottle of the good stuff, and tip like kings. They always make the gentleman's play, and inevitably end up with the best-looking babes on their arms. We also notice that after about 60 minutes with this good-lookin' crew, our lesser customers generally slink away from the bar feeling completely inadequate.
Yep, the Colts and Saints form quite the odd couple, but they are welcome in this joint anytime.
Prost, fellas!
THE STRONG STUFF
1 (1) New Orleans(99 proof, 6-0) Water boy stomped off in a huff when Brees didn't throw him a TD pass for the second straight week.
2 (2) Indianapolis (97 proof, 6-0) This club is the reason a half-cocked sportswriter at some point was the first to call a team, 'a well-oiled machine.'
WORTH A SHOT
3 (7) Pittsburgh(87 proof, 5-2) When you have play-makers on both sides of the ball you can overcome the occasional sloppy play.
4 (3) Minnesota(86 proof, 6-1) It's clear Favre had every intention of staying healthy enough to face Green Bay on Sunday. Did you see his duck-and-cover routine on Pittsburgh's two defensive scores in the 4th quarter?!
5 (8) New England(85 proof, 5-2) Get to enjoy their third straight bye week at home.
6 (4) Denver (84 proof, 6-0) Dropped two places during their week off, because the more you consider this team, the more it makes no sense.
7 (10) Philadelphia (83 proof, 4-2) Toyed with the Redskins and can take charge of the division with a win over the stumbling Giants Sunday.
8 (11) Arizona(82 proof, 4-2) This team is learning to play some good, hard-nosed defense, but will have to run the ball better to get back to the promised land.
9 (9) Baltimore(81 proof, 3-3) Anybody doubt they will beat Denver Sunday?
10 (15) Cincinnati (79 proof, 5-2) What we said last week: We'll predict for no good reason at all that the Bengals will shut down Cutler and the Bears Sunday. Actually they humiliated them.
11 (5) Atlanta(78 proof, 4-2) For a team that looks so complete, they obviously have holes. But where are they?
12 (6) N.Y. Giants(77 proof, 5-2) When the Saints and Cardinals stood right next to them, they found out these guys weren't Giants at all.
13 (14) Houston (75 proof, 4-3) Now that they are finally above .500, will they be afraid of heights?
14 (17) Green Bay(73 proof, 4-2) Have you heard? Brett Favre returns Sunday.
15 (18) Dallas(71 proof, 4-2) So the 'Boys have a new receiver who is Miles batter than T.O. Let the hype begin!
WATERED DOWN
16 (19) San Diego(68 proof, 3-3) We said it last week and we'll say it again: What an annoying team.
17 (13) San Francisco(65 proof, 3-3) If they don't want to be humiliated, better play two solid halves of football this weekend at Indianapolis -- and start Smith in both of them.
18 (12) Chicago(62 proof, 3-3) Jay Cutler equals Jeff George.
CHEAP STUFF
19 (16) Miami (60 proof, 2-4) Had the wounded Saints right where they wanted them, and then took their foot off their throat. These ain't your daddy's Saints.
20 (20) N.Y. Jets (59 proof, 4-3) Let me get this straight: Coach Buddy's Boy weighs in at well over 600 pounds, and has a problem with Sanchez eating a hot dog?!
21 (21) Jacksonville (55 proof, 3-3) Coming off a bye to play 0-6 Titans, who also had a bye. If they aren't careful in Nashville Sunday, it could be bye-bye to the Jaguars this year.
ROT GUT
22 (23) Buffalo (49 proof, 3-4) Moving around these rot-gut teams is like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Buffalo is sinking more slowly -- for now.
23 (23) Seattle (47 proof, 2-4) Head to Dallas Sunday, where they will get a chance to read the 671st story about Miles Austin.
24 (22) Carolina (43 proof, 2-4) The NFC's version of the Tennessee Titans.
25 (25) Kansas City (39 proof, 1-6) Kansas City Star columnist Jason Whitlock just dropped a 500-pound verb on top of Coach Haley.
26 (26) Oakland (37 proof, 2-4) That this team has somehow managed two wins is pure silver-and-black magic.
27 (27) Cleveland (30 proof, 1-6) Mangini should be lucky Whitlock doesn't cover his team.
28 (28) Tampa Bay (28 proof, 0-7) Look at their schedule and tell me where a win comes from.
29 (29) Detroit (27 proof, 1-5) Do you really think Detroit is going to let St. Louis come into their home and abuse them Sunday? Huh?! Do you?! Yeah, we're not sure either...
30 (30) Tennessee (22 proof, 0-6) Coach Fisher is back to wearing a Titans jersey so he can feel what it's like to be a loser again.
31 (31) Washington(19 proof, 2-5) Dan Snyder has consented to pay to get Jim Zorn's stiff upper lip repaired.
32 (32) St. Louis (15 proof, 0-7) A loss to Lions Sunday gives them a clear shot to become NFL's all-time worst team.
We're always paying attention around here even if the Giants and Eagles weren't last Sunday. Man, you'd think a pair of ol' stalwarts from a rough-and-tumble neighborhood like the NFC East would know better.
First, the Giants went down to New Orleans to restore order around the NFL, and got hit in the mouth before they were able to make a single statement. Then, a few hours later, the Eagles brought their uniforms to Oakland and not their game, and were cleaned and pressed by a gang of light-weights who used to refer to themselves as the vaunted Raider Nation.
So be warned, with that kind of stuff going down in the NFL this year, it's best you keep your head on swivel, pally. And drink up, it's gonna be a long season.
Prost! THE STRONG STUFF
1 (2) New Orleans(99 proof, 5-0) Biggest mismatch of Sunday's slap-down of the Giants was on the sidelines. Giants never adjusted to what the Saints coaches were serving: Max-protect and find out who this dude named C.C. Brown is not covering.
2 (3) Indianapolis (95 proof, 5-0) Colts will get a second straight week of rest when they visit the Rams Sunday.
3 (4) Minnesota(94 proof, 6-0) Vikings better learn to play 60 minutes by this Sunday at Pittsburgh or clock will strike 12 on their winning streak.
WORTH A SHOT
4 (8) Denver (89 proof, 6-0) Do we believe? No. Are we paying attention? You bet.
5 (6) Atlanta(87 proof, 4-1) Had the magnifying glass on 'em Sunday night, and spotted very few weaknesses.
6 (1) N.Y. Giants(86 proof, 5-1) That's what happens when you get all full of yourself beating up on midgets. Next time bring some attitude, and a secondary. For now, just get on out of here.
7 (7) Pittsburgh(85 proof, 4-2) Need to clean up this untidy brand of football they have been playing with unbeaten Vikes looking to make a mess of their place Sunday.
8 (9) New England(84 proof, 4-2) After thumping Titans, 59-0, Patriots are ready for Battle of 1812 redo when they visit UK this weekend.
9 (11) Baltimore(81 proof, 3-3) Yes they lost, and still moved up two spots. You want to tell me why they should have dropped, pal?
10 (5) Philadelphia (79 proof, 3-2) Seriously, what was THAT?! Loss at Oakland was the worst of the year by anybody. Can top it, though, if they throw in another clunker at D.C. Monday night .
11 (17) Arizona(78 proof, 3-2) All of a sudden the Cardinals are looking very serious to us. Giants better watch their backs Sunday night.
12 (12) Chicago(75 proof, 3-2) Played Atlanta tough, but you always got the feeling it was going to end badly for them.
13 (13) San Francisco(74 proof, 3-2) Next two games on the road against Houston and Indianapolis will tell us what this team is really made of.
WATERED DOWN
14 (20) Houston (72 proof, 3-3) Matt Schaub threw for 392 yds., and four TDs against a Bengals' defense that shut down Baltimore on the road the week before. We told you, there is some bad stuff going on this year.
15 (10) Cincinnati (71 proof, 4-2) And because there's bad stuff all about, we'll predict for no good reason at all that the Bengals will shut down Cutler and the Bears Sunday.
16 (16) Miami (70 proof, 2-3) With Saints back at home for a divisional showdown with Atlanta next Monday, maybe the Saints are marching into a trap this weekend?
17 (18) Green Bay(68 proof, 3-2) Packers did nothing in their 26-0 win over the Lions and their third-string QB to hurt or help their cause around here.
18 (19) Dallas(65 proof, 3-2) Used bye week to read epic tale about the little engine that could. "I think we can. I think we can. I think we can..." Jerry's kids shouted. No, you can't.
CHEAP STUFF
19 (15) San Diego(61 proof, 2-3) What an annoying team.
20 (14) N.Y. Jets (59 proof, 3-3) Well, the bloom is officially off Buddy boys' pretty quarterback. Don't get too close, he stinks.
21 (22) Jacksonville (55 proof, 3-3) Careful, Jacksonville, you are about to get run from this place for good with another performance like the one against the Rams Sunday.
ROT GUT
22 (23) Carolina (49 proof, 2-3) How long can they play 'hide the quarterback' before he, and they, are found out?
23 (28) Buffalo (45 proof, 2-4) Poor, poor Buffalo fans. Jauron always seems to do just enough to give you a sliver of hope. Hopefully, you are smart enough to know by now, you don't have any.
24 (21) Seattle (43 proof, 2-4) Bye comes at a perfect time to come up with another excuse for futility. I mean, wasn't everything supposed to be different when Hasselbeck was at the helm?
25 (31) Kansas City (39 proof, 1-5) Were the latest recipients of Washington's program to lift up the disenfranchised of the league.
26 (30) Oakland (37 proof, 2-4) Nobody is more surprised by what happened Sunday against the Eagles than the Raiders.
27 (26) Cleveland (30 proof, 1-5) QB Anderson has put his house on the market, too.
28 (29) Tampa Bay (28 proof, 0-6) Have already been banned in London.
29 (24) Detroit (27 proof, 1-5) If the Lions have a bye week will anybody even know they are missing?
30 (27) Tennessee (22 proof, 0-6) Seriously, this has gone way past ridiculous. A good-bye for the terrible Titans this weekend.
31 (25) Washington(19 proof, 2-4) We admit it...This whole rotten mess is fascinating to us in the Grill Room.
32 (32) St. Louis (15 proof, 0-6) After they lose to Colts this Sunday, will have their best (only?) shot at a win this year when they travel to Detroit the following week.
