Saints and Colts sipping success

As we head to the midpoint of the season, only two teams have proven themselves worthy of the Grill Room's best hooch.

But, my, aren't Indianapolis and New Orleans two very different customers!

The Saints? Well, they bust through the double-doors and act like they own the joint. Sure, this gregarious group takes some getting used to, and can get full-blown overbearing at times. Thing is, we notice nobody has the stones to throw down on 'em.
In fact, by night's end, people are actually buying THEM drinks! Did you see how generous those Dolphins were Sunday?!
Yeah, it's hard not to like these hard-drinking, hard-playing swashbucklers from Bourbon Street.

The Colts, on the other hand, are far more refined. They will politely engage the clientele in conversion, order a bottle of the good stuff, and tip like kings.
They always make the gentleman's play, and inevitably end up with the best-looking babes on their arms.
We also notice that after about 60 minutes with this good-lookin' crew, our lesser customers generally slink away from the bar feeling completely inadequate.

Yep, the Colts and Saints form quite the odd couple, but they are welcome in this joint anytime.

Prost, fellas!

THE STRONG STUFF

• 1 (1) New Orleans (99 proof, 6-0) Water boy stomped off in a huff when Brees didn't throw him a TD pass for the second straight week.
  
• 2 (2) Indianapolis (97 proof, 6-0) This club is the reason a half-cocked sportswriter at some point was the first to call a team, 'a well-oiled machine.'
  

WORTH A SHOT

• 3 (7) Pittsburgh (87 proof, 5-2) When you have play-makers on both sides of the ball you can overcome the occasional sloppy play.
  
• 4 (3) Minnesota (86 proof, 6-1) It's clear Favre had every intention of staying healthy enough to face Green Bay on Sunday. Did you see his duck-and-cover routine on Pittsburgh's two defensive scores in the 4th quarter?!
  
• 5 (8) New England (85 proof, 5-2) Get to enjoy their third straight bye week at home.
• 6 (4) Denver (84 proof, 6-0) Dropped two places during their week off, because the more you consider this team, the more it makes no sense.
• 7 (10) Philadelphia (83 proof, 4-2) Toyed with the Redskins and can take charge of the division with a win over the stumbling Giants Sunday.
• 8 (11) Arizona (82 proof, 4-2) This team is learning to play some good, hard-nosed defense, but will have to run the ball better to get back to the promised land.
  
• 9 (9) Baltimore (81 proof, 3-3) Anybody doubt they will beat Denver Sunday?
• 10 (15) Cincinnati (79 proof, 5-2) What we said last week: We'll predict for no good reason at all that the Bengals will shut down Cutler and the Bears Sunday. Actually they humiliated them.
  
• 11 (5) Atlanta (78 proof, 4-2) For a team that looks so complete, they obviously have holes. But where are they?
• 12 (6) N.Y. Giants (77 proof, 5-2) When the Saints and Cardinals stood right next to them, they found out these guys weren't Giants at all.
• 13 (14) Houston (75 proof, 4-3) Now that they are finally above .500, will they be afraid of heights?
• 14 (17) Green Bay (73 proof, 4-2) Have you heard? Brett Favre returns Sunday.
• 15 (18) Dallas (71 proof, 4-2) So the 'Boys have a new receiver who is Miles batter than T.O. Let the hype begin!
  

WATERED DOWN

• 16 (19) San Diego (68 proof, 3-3) We said it last week and we'll say it again: What an annoying team.
• 17 (13) San Francisco (65 proof, 3-3) If they don't want to be humiliated, better play two solid halves of football this weekend at Indianapolis -- and start Smith in both of them.
  
• 18 (12) Chicago (62 proof, 3-3) Jay Cutler equals Jeff George.

CHEAP STUFF

• 19 (16) Miami (60 proof, 2-4) Had the wounded Saints right where they wanted them, and then took their foot off their throat. These ain't your daddy's Saints.
  
• 20 (20) N.Y. Jets (59 proof, 4-3) Let me get this straight: Coach Buddy's Boy weighs in at well over 600 pounds, and has a problem with Sanchez eating a hot dog?!
  
• 21 (21) Jacksonville (55 proof, 3-3) Coming off a bye to play 0-6 Titans, who also had a bye. If they aren't careful in Nashville Sunday, it could be bye-bye to the Jaguars this year.

ROT GUT

• 22 (23) Buffalo (49 proof, 3-4) Moving around these rot-gut teams is like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. Buffalo is sinking more slowly -- for now.
• 23 (23) Seattle (47 proof, 2-4) Head to Dallas Sunday, where they will get a chance to read the 671st story about Miles Austin.
  
• 24 (22) Carolina (43 proof, 2-4) The NFC's version of the Tennessee Titans.
  
• 25 (25) Kansas City (39 proof, 1-6) Kansas City Star columnist Jason Whitlock just dropped a 500-pound verb on top of Coach Haley.
• 26 (26) Oakland (37 proof, 2-4) That this team has somehow managed two wins is pure silver-and-black magic.
• 27 (27) Cleveland (30 proof, 1-6) Mangini should be lucky Whitlock doesn't cover his team.
• 28 (28) Tampa Bay (28 proof, 0-7) Look at their schedule and tell me where a win comes from.
  
• 29 (29) Detroit (27 proof, 1-5) Do you really think Detroit is going to let St. Louis come into their home and abuse them Sunday? Huh?! Do you?! Yeah, we're not sure either...
• 30 (30) Tennessee (22 proof, 0-6) Coach Fisher is back to wearing a Titans jersey so he can feel what it's like to be a loser again.
• 31 (31) Washington (19 proof, 2-5) Dan Snyder has consented to pay to get Jim Zorn's stiff upper lip repaired.
  
• 32 (32) St. Louis (15 proof, 0-7) A loss to Lions Sunday gives them a clear shot to become NFL's all-time worst team.

(*) -- denotes last week's ranking.