Friday, October 30, 2009

Lions-Rams: That '70s Show

When the St. Louis Rams take their sorry, 0-7 act on the road to stumble up against the almost-as-sorry, 1-5 Lions on Sunday, nostalgia will run as thick as the soot in the Motor City air.

St. Louis and Detroit...playing a meaningless mid-season football game...Shout it from the rooftops, friends, the NFL as we used to know it is back! Parity is dead, and a rebirth of the '70s is upon us!

All this harks to a time when our kids weren't too fat and our celebrities too thin; back when we actually believed the sludge which is Coors was a premium brew, if only because their boss told us it had water from the Rockies in it; back when newspapers were king and blogs were...well, they weren't.

Light up a smoke, close your eyes, and try to take a deep breath. Now open 'em. Pro football never looked so good, eh?

Once again we can take great comfort in knowing that when the Rams (of St. Louis Cardinals vintage), and the Lions of dependable Detroit bump up against our squad, a win is in the offing!
And when they bump into each other, well, another chapter of those wonderful NFL Follies won't be far behind.

Oh, for a short time, St. Louis of the Rams escaped its losing ways when they were quarterbacked by a guy named Warner and coached by a guy named Vermeil. They even ran an offense known as the "Greatest Show on Turf."
Thankfully, that act is long since dead, and now is some weird footnote in the annals of football history.

In fact, the Rams are so bad these days, NFL historians and are looking back over those glory years, to see if they really happened. Mysteriously, their alleged victory in Super Bowl XXXIV has vanished from the NFL Films archives altogether.
No, the city of St. Louis is back to ruining NFL franchises. Recently it even showed the masterful ability to make a martyr out of Rush Limbaugh, just for good measure.

Detroit, like the cars it produces, has proven to be a dependable loser for almost five decades now.

When a coach named Wayne Fontes threatened to turn them into something resembling winners in the early-'90s, Michiganders took great offense, and their unions acted swiftly and inappropriately, giving the guy a time-share next to Jimmy Hoffa.
Really, what ever happened to that dude? Fontes, we're talking about.

Last year, of course, the team outdid even itself and lost every single game it played. That misery finally ended this year, when President Obama sent his football team up there to bail 'em out with a win.
But there will be no big winning in Detroit. Even Obama can't handle that much change.

No, certain things must spin certain ways on this planet of ours, though must we be subjected to the indigestion that comes with watching the Lions play each and every Thanksgiving?

Ah, no matter. Things are starting to feel right again. If only the Saints would knock off this sudden penchant for winning we could really take a load off...

Take your pick

For informational purposes only...some picks for Week 8 action around the NFL brought to you by folks who most likely know as much about the game as you do:
ESPN
YAHOO!
CBS Sports
CNN/SI
NBC
SportingNews
AP

College:
SportingNews
CBS Sports
NBC

This Week's Grill Room NFL 100-PROOF lock: Arizona over Carolina, minus-8.5:
Well, last week we got back to serving dependable winners around here, when we recommended the angry, heavy favorite. The, Eagles, coming off their humiliating loss to the Raiders, were the choice to go into Washington and win with ease. They did, and now you are believing in us again.
Tampa, Washington and Kansas City all have an undeserved Sunday off, making the pickings a little more limited this time 'round.
So, this week we are going to offer up a happy, home favorite. The Arizona Cardinals have found some swagger and a swarming defense, while rolling to three straight wins. They are playing a confused, quarterback-less Carolina team, that somehow lost to Buffalo at home last week.
The Panthers fill out the anger part of our selection, but lose heavily to a Cardinal team that is three TDs better, 34-13.
Enjoy!
(Season record: 4-3)

Tape it up
  • To get the latest on all the aches and breaks around the NFL go here.
  • You don't think NFL players are crazy-tough? Take a look at this.
  • The No. 1 Saints take a major hit in backfield.
TV Time
If you can't stop by the
Grill Room, here's the college and pro football fare that's cooking on the tube this weekend:
(For our U.S. military viewers and their families overseas the games American Forces Network will be showing are in bold.)

COLLEGE:
Friday, Oct. 30
West Virginia at South Florida, 8 p.m., ESPN2

Saturday, Oct. 31
Iowa at Indiana, Noon, ESPN
Purdue at Wisconsin, Noon, ESPN2
Mississippi at Auburn, Noon, SEC
New Mexico State at Ohio State, Noon, Big Ten Network
Cincinnati at Syracuse, Noon, ESPNU
Georgia vs. Florida at Jacksonville, Fla., 3:30 p.m., CBS
Miami at Wake Forest, 3:30 p.m., ABC
Kansas at Texas Tech, 3:30 p.m., ABC
Michigan at Illinois, 3:30 p.m., ABC
California at Arizona State, 3:30 p.m., ABC
Central Michigan at Boston College, 3:30 p.m., ESPNU
Temple at Navy, 3:30 p.m., CBS CSN
Air Force at Colorado State, 4 p.m., Mtn.
UNLV at TCU, 4 p.m., Versus
Penn State at Northwestern, 4:30 p.m., ESPN
Eastern Michigan at Arkansas, 7 p.m., ESPNU
Washington State vs. Notre Dame at San Antonio, 7:30 p.m., NBC
New Mexico at San Diego State, 7:30 p.m., CBS CSN
South Carolina at Tennessee, 7:45 p.m., ESPN
Texas at Oklahoma State, 8 p.m., ABC
USC at Oregon, 8 p.m., ABC
Michigan State at Minnesota, 8 p.m., Big Ten Network
Wyoming at Utah, 8 p.m., Mtn.

Sunday, Nov. 1
Marshall at Central Florida, 8:15 p.m., ESPN

NFL:
Sunday, Nov. 1
(Byes: Cincinnati, Kansas City, New England, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, Washington)
Denver at Baltimore 1 p.m., CBS
Houston at Buffalo 1 p.m., CBS
Cleveland at Chicago 1 p.m., CBS
Seattle at Dallas 1 p.m., FOX
St. Louis at Detroit 1 p.m., FOX
Minnesota at Green Bay 1 p.m., FOX
San Francisco at Indianapolis 1 p.m.. FOX
N.Y. Giants at Philadelphia 1 p.m., FOX
Miami at N.Y. Jets 1 p.m., CBS
Oakland at San Diego 4:05 p.m., CBS
Jacksonville at Tennessee 4:05 p.m., CBS
Minnesota at Green Bay 4:15 p.m., FOX, FOX
Carolina at Arizona 4:15 p.m., FOX

Monday, Nov. 2
Atlanta at New Orleans 8:30 p.m., ESPN

(All times EST)


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